Dislocated Memory

When I woke up, my son was gone and my husband was someone else.

1

I’m a new mother.

She is very impatient and would love to leave her son to be taken care of by her mother-in-law every day.

But he had a high fever these two days, so I was naturally distressed and stayed by his side without closing my eyes.

Last night, he fell asleep holding my thumb.

That pitiful look melted my heart.

I put my forehead against his and felt his fever subside. He finally fell asleep peacefully.

After waking up, I suddenly couldn’t open my eyes.

Something was tied tightly around my eyelids and it hurt terribly.

“Honey, don’t touch your eyes with your hands, they will get infected.”

Next to me, a hoarse male voice said, “It’s not my husband’s voice…”

2

“Who are you? What are you doing in my house?” I grabbed the quilt and shrank back.

But the man just said, “Wife, it’s time to take your medicine. I’ll get it.” and walked away.

I reluctantly pulled the thing off my eyelids and found it was medical gauze.

What I saw in front of me was a strange bedroom, large and empty.

It was raining outside the window, and there were no other houses in sight, just woods.

When I looked away, I suddenly saw myself in the window glass——

I became haggard and thin, and there was a long wound running horizontally from my left eyelid to my right eyelid.

On the white wall next to the window, there were a few words written in blood:

“Run away! The man who claims to be your husband will kill you!”

I recognized it as my own handwriting…

But I don’t remember writing…

I don’t remember why I ended up here and became like this.

But, thinking back to the tone of the man calling me wife just now,

My back became colder inch by inch, as if a snake was crawling up it.

3

The man returned with the medicine.

He said nervously, “Wife, why did you remove the gauze?”

“Feng Yuan?”

I recognized him.

Two years ago, my mother forced me to go on a blind date with him. I remember he was a doctor at the municipal hospital.

We only met that once. Later, I heard from my mother that he had a conflict with his subsequent girlfriend.

The girl was beaten by him and his stomach was stabbed like a hornet’s nest.

So, is there a dead person in front of me?

I froze, staring at him, feeling a chill coming off him.

He put the medicine and water on the bedside table, asked me to take the medicine, and asked me if I was hungry and if he wanted me to make dinner.

He looked so considerate, as if he was really my husband.

I saw a cell phone on the bedside table and said, “That’s fine, but can you leave me alone for a minute?”

He said okay and went out.

What is going on?

Could it be that my mother heard it wrong, this man is not dead, and now he has kidnapped me?

I remember that when we were on a blind date, he seemed to like me very much and was quite attentive.

I picked up my phone while thinking about it.

It was around 6:00 p.m. on March 27, so I did sleep next to my son last night.

I called my husband right away, but the number was always unavailable after several attempts…

Finally, I had no choice but to lock the bedroom door, check the location address, and call the police.

4

About half an hour later, the police arrived.

I heard the police and Feng Yuan talking outside, and then they came to the bedroom door together and asked me to open it.

“Ms. Wang Xin, right? It was you who called the police, right?” the police asked.

I nodded.

“You said on the phone that he was not your husband and that he had kidnapped you, right?”

“Yes! I woke up and came here. I don’t know what happened.”

“The question now is, you are indeed husband and wife. This is the marriage certificate that Mr. Feng showed us. We have also checked it in the system and it is real.”

The police handed me the marriage certificate, which indeed had a photo of Feng Yuan and I with a red background. In the photo, I was smiling very stiffly, like a mannequin.

Everything I saw made me feel very uncomfortable, as if they were all fake people.

“It is illegal to make a false report to the police,” the police said.

“Comrade police officer, I am sorry to trouble you. My wife has paranoia and her condition has been unstable recently, so…”

“He’s really not my husband!” I shouted, “And look at these words on the wall.”

The police walked into the room and frowned when he saw the bloody words on the white wall.

“Mr. Feng, you and your wife didn’t have an argument, did you? What’s the matter with these words and the injury on your wife’s eye?”

“Comrade police officer, she wrote all this because she was ill. The wound on her eye was cut by herself. There was an aunt taking care of her at home, but she drove her away. I was worried about her at work, so I installed a surveillance camera at home, and it captured this… This… You will know when you see it.”

Feng Yuan took out his cell phone and played a surveillance video.

5

The video quality was very poor and gray, making the woman in it look like a ghost.

In her hands she held a bowl of… blood? She was using it to draw strange patterns on the floor of the hall.

It’s like a spell, but also like a complicated formula.

After everything was drawn, the pattern formed a circle, and then she sat in the middle and used a blade to cut from the left eyelid to the right eyelid.

Blood trickled down from her eyelids like a veil.

The policeman watched the video and glanced at me halfway through, as if he was looking at a psychopath.

Yes, the woman in the video is me, or at least she looks exactly like me.

“What’s that blood?” the policeman asked, unable to close his mouth.

“It was cat blood. She hurt my cat. I mopped up all the blood, but I don’t know how to clean the blood on the wall.” Feng Yuan swallowed as if he had nausea, and continued, “I was shocked when I came back and saw it. Fortunately, the wound was not deep, and I’m a surgeon, so I applied medicine and bandaged it. She was a little abnormal after she woke up. I don’t know when she called the police.”

“It’s not me, I didn’t do these things,” I said.

But the police ignored me and continued to say to Feng Yuan:

“In this case, you should send her to a specialized hospital, otherwise something bad will happen.”

“Do you really think I’m sick? I’m not sick!”

I stamped my feet in anxiety, but the police still ignored me. They asked Feng Yuan to take out my medical records, and after confirming them, they left.

Feng Yuan walked them downstairs and to the gate on the first floor. When he came back, he said to me, “Wife, why did you call the police? If they find Aunt Xue, you will go to jail. You attempted murder. Do you know that?”

I had no idea what he was talking about and just stared at him blankly.

He said, “Have you really forgotten? The blood you used to draw those weird things wasn’t cat blood, it was human blood.”

6

In the small room on the first floor, a rope used to tie people up was still hanging on a wooden chair, and there was a pool of blood underneath.

On the bed, there was a middle-aged lady, her face as pale as paper due to blood loss.

Feng Yuan said that my aunt’s surname was Xue, and he hired her to take care of me. But I tied her up last night, cut her wrists, and took her blood.

“I stopped her bleeding and gave her anti-inflammatory drugs. She should be able to survive.” Feng Yuan stepped forward to check the wound on her wrist.

I am totally confused now!

I was clearly at home taking care of my son last night, and the woman in the video was definitely not me.

But if that’s not me, why does it look exactly like me?

How did I get the injury on my eye?

“If Aunt Xue calls the police, even if you don’t go to jail, you will be sent to a mental hospital. Wait until she recovers, and then I’ll discuss with her whether we can settle it privately.” Feng Yuan kept nagging.

I couldn’t listen at all, my mind was in a mess, and suddenly, I thought of a possibility…

I lifted my pajamas and took a look at my belly.

The scar is gone, the scar from my C-section is gone!

Could it be that… this is not my body at all…

7

“Why are you lifting your clothes? Can you hear me talking to you?” Feng Yuan was still nagging.

“Water, I want to drink some water…” Aunt Xue woke up and said.

When she saw me, she was stunned and her eyes widened in fear, her pupils looked like a cat’s.

I noticed that her face also looked like a cat’s, with all the features squeezed together.

Feng Yuan poured her a glass of water, helped her sit up and drink it, and said, “Aunt Xue, my wife did go too far this time, but she is a patient. Please understand. Don’t call the police. I promise that I will do my best to compensate you, no matter how much money is fine.”

But Aunt Xue ignored Feng Yuan. Her eyes were still on me, looking me up and down.

Yes, why did the weird ritual in the video use her blood?

She must know something, right?

I wanted to talk to Aunt Xue, so I deliberately changed the address to Feng Yuan and said, “Husband, can I be alone with Aunt Xue for a while?”

“Absolutely not! Who knows what outrageous thing you will do next?” Feng Yuan flatly refused and ordered, “Go upstairs first, I will talk to Aunt Xue.”

8

Walking out of the small room, the door was right there. I could just leave and run back to the city, run back home.

However, I now very much doubt whether I have a husband and son waiting for me at home.

I have to find a chance to talk to Aunt Xue and find out what exactly happened?

So I went upstairs first. After a while, Feng Yuan also came up and said that Aunt Xue had agreed to a private settlement and told me not to worry. I cooperated with him, admitted that I was sick, and took the medicine that had been on the bedside table, but I just held it in my mouth.

Who knows what medicine that could be?

The bloody words on the wall are still there to remind me——

“Run! The man who claims to be your husband will kill you!”

Feng Yuan changed into pajamas and lay beside me. I endured it. After he fell asleep, I secretly got up and went downstairs to find Aunt Xue.

“Ms. Wang, why are you here?” Aunt Xue looked surprised when she opened the door.

“I’m sorry for messing up your hand, but I don’t even remember…”

Aunt Xue didn’t say anything, just sighed.

I said, “Actually, this might not be done by me. How should I put it? I might not be the Wang Xin who cut your wrist. Although my name is Wang Xin, my husband’s name is Lin Jie, not Feng Yuan. We have a one-year-old son. We live in the city, in a commercial house, not this villa…”

“What do you mean?” Aunt Xue interrupted me.

“I was wondering if this is another possibility of my life, like a parallel world, you know?”

Aunt Xue kept shaking her head, and I became even more anxious.

“That’s right, I might have come from another world. The reason I came here is related to the strange ceremony last night. I guess you know what it is, but you don’t want to tell me, right?”

I spoke faster and faster, eager to know the truth.

But she said, “Ms. Wang, I think your illness is getting worse.”

“You mean paranoia? No, my memory is very clear. I remember everything about my son, every detail.”

“You made those up yourself. Come with me and you’ll see.”

Aunt Xue led me to another room, which was a children’s room.

Small tent, building blocks, soft carpet…

The room had everything a one-year-old child should have, except the child.

“Before you got married, your parents died in a car accident. It was caused by your ex-boyfriend who was chasing you. His name was Lin Jie. That incident was such a huge blow to you that it drove you crazy.”

Aunt Xue explained that her voice was hoarse and sounded like she was speaking with a choked throat, like a cat’s meow?

In the dim light, her face looked more and more like a cat’s face, and I could clearly feel that hair was about to grow on her face.

What she told me in that suspicious voice was not the answer I wanted.

I shook my head desperately and said, “In the other world, that Lin Jie is my husband, and my parents are alive and well.”

“All you said is in your head. What I can see is that you decorated this nursery, always pretending that you have a child, and you will cry and make a fuss when he is gone.”

Can the human brain really imagine two years of life in every detail? I don’t believe it.

“So what about last night’s ceremony?” I asked her.

“Ms. Wang, I told you the necromancy rituals to comfort you. I told you that after you do them, you will be able to see your son again later.”

Does she have some strange ability? I listened quietly.

“I said I was a psychic and understood these things. You were very satisfied after trying it, saying that through the necromancy ritual you not only saw your son, but also your dead parents, and that you were living another life. I thought there would be no problem, but a few days ago, you suddenly asked me how I could let you live in that world. I said that it would require a lot of psychic blood and cutting your eyelids, which would be very painful. I thought you would be scared, but I didn’t expect you to actually do it.”

“So, the summoning ritual worked, and the me who originally lived in this world was replaced by me, right?”

I was very excited and thought, if there is a way to change it back, there must be a way to change it back and return to my son.

“Hey… Miss Wang, I made up all those weird things. I did that just to make you quiet down.”

Aunt Xue looked at me with very sincere eyes.

But her words were like a basin of ice water that stopped my heart.

Are they fake? Those memories are so real, yet they are fake?

On my thumb, I can still feel the touch of my son’s soft little hand holding it…

He fell asleep beside me, looking so fragile that it made me feel distressed. I put my forehead against his, feeling his body temperature…

Are these all fake?

9

Two years ago, Lin Jie and I broke up because we were in different places.

My parents didn’t agree that I would go to Beijing with him, and he was determined not to come back because of his so-called dream. After several arguments, Lin Jie flew back to treat my parents to a meal, wanting me to go to Beijing with him. My father said that there was no way he could take good care of us in Beijing with the little money he earned. When Lin Jie heard this, he was furious and left the table halfway.

At that time, I really felt that the baby in my belly came at the wrong time.

On the way back, my mother told me that if it didn’t work, I should abort it as soon as possible.

I told Lin Jie about this plan. A few days later, Lin Jie changed his mind and decided to come back to work.

We got married and formed a happy family.

If Lin Jie had not changed his mind, things might have turned out like this.

I aborted the child and married Feng Yuan, the blind date introduced by my mother.

This is a parallel world, another possibility for my life, but it is not my life.

I still didn’t want to believe Aunt Xue’s words, and patiently explained to her the possibility of the existence of that happy world.

Aunt Xue listened quietly and said, “It’s no wonder that you have such wild thoughts. You have been tortured so badly by Mr. Feng that I can’t bear to watch. People just don’t think about anything. Of course you will yearn for that kind of happy life.”

10

“What do you mean?” I asked, very uneasy.

“Look at the wounds on your body and you’ll know what I mean.”

Confused, I walked to the children’s dressing mirror and unbuttoned my pajamas.

Oh my God, my body is covered with scars and bruises.

I felt suffocated and trembling.

“Why…is this happening?”

“It was all done by Mr. Feng. A few days ago, you told me that he would kill you, so you had to run away. It would be best if you could run away to that happy world you mentioned, right? But where is that happy world?”

I thought of the bloody words on the wall, and suddenly realized, is that another reminder left by me?

She changed my life, but couldn’t bear to see me die here, so she left me a message?

“Ms. Wang, I advised you not to tell Mr. Feng about your ex-boyfriend and the aborted child. He was going to beat you the moment he heard about it. He looks gentle at ordinary times, but when he gets jealous, he’s like a madman. I’m not surprised at all what he does.”

At this moment, there was a sudden noise outside the door.

It scared me so much that my heart started pounding.

I lay down and saw a pair of feet through the crack in the door!

There was no one else in the villa, it was Feng Yuan who was eavesdropping!

Isn’t he asleep?

Are you pretending to sleep?

When did he start eavesdropping?

If he really meant what Aunt Xue said, after hearing what he just said, would he really want to kill me?

My legs couldn’t help but tremble.

“Honey, are you at the door?” I asked.

There was no response, and then the door handle made a sound.

I rushed over, pressed the safety button and locked the door.

“Wife, if you keep doing this, I will have to remove all the doors in our house.”

It’s him!

“Don’t come in yet, I…”

“Open the door quickly! Open the door for me, do you hear me?” he yelled in frustration.

What followed was a loud bang on the door.

“Why don’t you open the door? I won’t hit you, honey, please open the door, okay?”

He lowered his voice, as if begging.

This moody state makes me even more scared. Only a madman would be like this.

“Am I not good to you? Why do you think about your ex-boyfriend and that dead child all day? Can’t you just stay with me?”

He roared louder and louder, and then kicked again!

The door is loose!

I was so scared that I quickly opened the window and climbed out into the yard.

Just then, the door was kicked open by him.

I wanted to run, but found that the iron gate of the yard was locked.

He held the ashtray in his hand and said coldly, “Don’t run. If you don’t run, I won’t hit you.”

Shivering all over, I grabbed the iron gate railings and climbed up, but the rain soaked them and I kept sliding down.

“Mr. Feng, don’t do this. You’re scaring her.” Aunt Xue tried to stop him.

Feng Yuan turned his head to look at her, expressionless, then he swung the ashtray and smashed it at Aunt Xue’s head.

“Gossip, I told you not to talk too much.”

Blood came out of Aunt Xue’s black hair…

Once again, blood splashed onto Feng Yuan’s face…

Aunt Xue fell down and I heard a whimper, which didn’t sound like a human cry, but more like a cat’s cry.

I’m screaming!

Out of control!

The rain made me feel cold all over!

Fear makes my muscles stiff!

Feng Yuan, his face covered in blood, looked at me again, his eyes as empty as those of an unknown humanoid creature…

11

I used all my strength to grab the railing of the iron gate through my sleeves and finally climbed up.

In the blink of an eye, Feng Yuan had already climbed through the window and was at my feet…

He reached out to grab my feet, and I kicked him in the eye, then jumped off the iron gate and ran as fast as I could.

Behind him, I heard his ghostly curse.

The rain hits the leaves.

The leaves flashed dimly and rustled.

The trees flew past me.

…I don’t know how long I ran, but I finally arrived at the road.

I continued running, and I don’t know how long I had been running before I saw a gas station.

The bright lights there excited me like a glorious harbor.

I arrived at the gas station, calmed down a bit, and hailed a taxi on my phone.

Where should I go?

Oh, right, go home, I want to go home…

It was three o’clock in the morning when I arrived at my door.

I knocked on the door, holding on to a shred of remaining hope.

Maybe, it’s just a prank.

Behind the door, my son and my husband are waiting for me…

My son would hug me and mumble: Scare mom, scare mom.

There were footsteps in the house…

Someone came to open the door, and my heart beat faster and faster.

The door opened, and it was actually Lin Jie!

I was so happy that I almost cried and threw myself into his arms.

“Honey, I’m so scared, why can’t I get through to you on the phone?”

He was stunned for a while, then pushed me aside and said, “Wang Xin, why are you here so late?”

Why do you look so surprised and alert?

I looked carefully and realized that he was not my husband…

12

The Lin Jie in front of me looks ten years older than my husband Lin Jie.

His hairline has grown higher and his beard has become untidy.

Moreover, one of his sleeves was hanging there, swaying, and it was empty inside.

At that moment, I was completely speechless.

Yes, the wedding house that Lin Jie and I live in was bought by his family before we got married.

So, it’s not surprising that he lives here, even though he is Lin Jie of this world.

“Fuck, your eyes…what’s wrong with you? Stop standing at the door and come in.”

Lin Jie said this, led me to sit on the sofa and poured me a glass of water.

“It’s a bit scary to see you like this in the middle of the night! What’s going on?”

He asked again, but I didn’t know where to start, so he continued, “The last time we met was in court. I thought you hated me so much that you wouldn’t come to see me again.”

I remembered the car accident Aunt Xue mentioned.

I took a sip of water, calmed down and said, “Lin Jie, what I am about to tell you may be hard for you to believe, but it is all true.”

Do you have to be so serious? His half-smiley expression expressed this meaning. I know him too well. Most of the time, he is an optimist.

Then, I told Lin Jie what had happened before and my guesses.

After he heard this, the half-smile on his face froze.

“Your husband is a domestic abuser? And he killed your aunt? Then we’d better let the police handle it.”

“No, I will definitely be locked up in a mental hospital. I have to go back to that world. Our son needs me.”

“Wang Xin, wake up. We don’t have any children. The other world you talked about, where we got married and so on, is all your imagination.” Lin Jie said, glancing at his empty sleeves. “The fact is, I didn’t give up my job in Beijing. After you aborted the child, I regretted it. I came back to save the relationship, but ended up killing your parents and ruining my own life.”

“This is just the reality of this world. No matter what, I cannot accept this reality.”

“So what do you want?”

“I want to go back to Feng Yuan and get the video in his phone and Aunt Xue’s blood. If I redo the ritual, maybe I can return to my original world… But I can’t do it alone. Can you help me?”

Lin Jie smiled bitterly and said, “To be honest, I am also moved by what you said. If it is really possible, I would like to change my life, but this can’t be true.”

“Forget it, I’ll go back by myself. Please don’t call the police.”

I stood up to leave, but Lin Jie stopped me.

“Wait, according to what you said, Feng Yuan is a murderer now. It’s too dangerous for you to go back like this… Forget it, I’ll go with you. I know you too well. Even if those rituals are fake, you have to try them before you give up, right?”

“right……”

I cried as I looked at him, and thought about how well Lin Jie and I had known each other for seven years before we got married…

But in this world, he and I couldn’t be together.

“Don’t be so touched. I owe you something. There’s nothing I can do to make up for what happened to your parents.”

He paused, then smiled and said, “It’s difficult. You’re a woman and I’m a cripple. If we go without preparing, wouldn’t that be courting death?”

13

The rain was still falling. It was already early morning when Lin Jie and I walked through the woods and arrived at the villa.

I had pepper spray in my pocket and Lin Jie was holding an iron rod.

This is all our preparations. Lin Jie plans to have me ring the bell at the door, and then wait for Feng Yuan to open the door, and then he will launch a surprise attack.

I came to the iron gate, and my legs began to tremble again when I thought of what happened last night.

“Don’t be afraid, I’m here…” Lin Jie said, hiding behind the wall, holding the iron rod tightly.

I rang the doorbell and after a while, Feng Yuan came out.

He looked tired but calm, not like he had just killed someone.

When he saw me, he ran over to open the door and said, “Great! I couldn’t find you anywhere and almost called the police. I’m sorry, I lost control last night.”

Call the police? He still dares to call the police now?

I didn’t say anything and he opened the door for me without any warning.

At this time, I quickly took out the pepper spray and sprayed it into his eyes.

he cried out, bending over and rubbing his eyes.

Lin Jie rushed out and hit him on the head with an iron rod.

Feng Yuan held his head and half squatted down. Lin Jie kicked him to the ground, then pounced on him and pinned him down.

“Go get a rope and tie him up, quickly.”

14

We tied Feng Yuan to the radiator in the lobby on the first floor.

After the fight, the three of us were covered in mud.

I felt like something was wrong. I never expected things to go so smoothly. It felt like the Feng Yuan just now and the Feng Yuan who went crazy last night were two different people.

Feng Yuan tried hard to open his swollen eyes, and when he saw Lin Jie clearly, he started cursing.

“Bitch, I’ve been looking for you everywhere, and you’re using my ex-boyfriend to mess with me? What do you want? Are you going to kill me?

“There’s no need for us to kill you. If you kill someone, someone will naturally shoot you,” said Lin Jie.

“Me? Murder? Are you crazy? Who told you that?”

Feng Yuan sneered and said as if it was something ridiculous.

Forget it, I don’t have time to talk to him. I took the cell phone from him. Also, I need Aunt Xue’s blood!

I ran into Aunt Xue’s bedroom, but the pool of blood under the chair was gone.

It must have been cleaned up by Feng Yuan, so I can only take blood from the corpse.

The corpse…ah, as long as I can go back, there is nothing I can’t do.

So I ran back to the children’s room, but Aunt Xue’s body was gone too.

There was absolutely no blood on the ground.

I rushed out and asked Feng Yuan, “Where did you hide Aunt Xue’s body?”

“What Aunt Xue?”

“Are you playing dumb? You killed Aunt Xue.”

“I killed Aunt Xue? You mean Xue Xue, the cat. Yes, I was too angry last night and I did kill the cat, but the cat died because of you, wife, you shouldn’t have angered me.”

“Aunt Xue is a cat?” Lin Jie asked, looking at me in confusion.

“It’s not a cat. Aunt Xue is a person.”

Hearing our conversation, Feng Yuan suddenly laughed uncontrollably and said to Lin Jie, “Hey, you didn’t believe her nonsense and came to my house to beat me up, did you? Don’t you know that she’s mentally damaged?”

“He’s talking nonsense, don’t believe him,” I said.

“Who the hell is talking nonsense, Lin Jie, right? Go and see for yourself, the Aunt Xue she mentioned is now in the trash can in the kitchen!” Feng Yuan said, looking 100% confident in his words.

Lin Jie looked at him, then at me, and then walked into the kitchen. He opened the lid of the trash can and took out a translucent plastic bag. In the bag was a rag covered in blood… and a dead cat.

I was stunned, imagining cat hair growing on Aunt Xue’s face.

The image of me holding the cat and talking to myself flashed through my mind.

Also, in the baby room, Feng Yuan looked at me like crazy, and I climbed through the window to escape. The black cat barked at him and pounced on him, so he smashed the cat to death…

It seems, it seems that there is indeed no Aunt Xue.

Feng Yuan didn’t kill anyone…he killed a cat!

Am I really crazy?

Otherwise, how could I have imagined an Aunt Xue?

“Wang Xin, you are not kidding me, are you? If he really killed someone, I would be considered to be acting bravely. Now that he didn’t kill anyone, what did I do? Breaking into a house and injuring someone?” Lin Jie frowned, seeming very dissatisfied with my actions.

I clutched my hair tightly and my head was splitting.

Does that world really exist?

Does the world where Lin Jie and I got married really exist?

Does that son who is as fragile as a crystal bubble really exist?

Ah! Don’t doubt yourself!

He must exist…

He must exist…

“Lin Jie, I can explain that this body is not mine. Mental illness is a physical disease, so I had hallucinations and mistook the cat for Aunt Xue. However, that world and our son are two different things from Aunt Xue.”

I tried hard to convince Lin Jie, and also to convince myself.

Feng Yuan listened to what I said, but his face was full of disdain: “Forget it, you can always come up with reasons to deceive yourself, all kinds of tricks, in fact, there is no such world at all.”

I couldn’t see what Lin Jie was thinking, and I was afraid that he also thought I was crazy and would stop me.

I could only beg them excitedly: “Please, let me finish the ritual. After I finish, you want to call the police or throw me into a mental hospital? It’s up to you. Please, I need to go back to my son.”

Lin Jie had a blank expression on his face. He walked over and handed me the cat’s body.

Feng Yuan looked at them and cursed, “Damn, two lunatics!”

15

“That world does exist…”

“That world does exist…”

“That world does exist…”

I repeated this sentence over and over like crazy.

I followed the pattern in the video, dipped my finger in the cat’s blood, and drew the pattern again in the hall.

The dead cat looked at me, and I knew I was sorry for it.

It took me a while, but finally, I’m ready.

I sat in the middle of the talisman, picked up the fruit knife, and prepared to cut another cut on my eyelid.

I can endure this pain as long as I can go back.

Just as I closed my eyes and reached out to cut, someone sat down against my back.

I stopped, looked back, and found it was Lin Jie.

He also had a knife in his hand, and was about to do the same thing I was about to do.

“What are you going to do?”

“I also want to try to go to another world. At least I’m not a cripple there, right?”

I shuddered and stood up.

I couldn’t believe Lin Jie’s behavior for a moment.

I said, “No, you can’t do this. You will replace my husband’s soul.”

“I am not him, and he is not me. Aren’t I the same to you?”

“no the same.”

“I don’t care about that. Since there are different possibilities in life, why can’t I have the happy one? This is not fair!”

Lin Jie’s expression changed, as if he saw a magnificent painting in the air…

I read madness in that look.

Could it be that he has always been helping me with this purpose?

16

“No, you can’t do this, that world is not yours.”

As I spoke, I couldn’t help but tremble in my voice.

Lin Jie sneered, ignored me, and was about to start cutting his eyelids. I quickly grabbed his hand.

He looked at my hands, then raised his head and glared at me fiercely.

“What do you want to do, Wang Xin? Are you going to stop me? You’ve already hurt me once, do you still want to stop me from being happy?”

“Did I harm you?”

“Yes! If you hadn’t aborted the baby, would I have become disabled?”

As he said this, he shook off my hand and pointed the knife at me.

It turned out that he had always resented me in his heart, but he had disguised it so well before that he didn’t show it.

I thought he was the same person as Lin Jie from my world?

I didn’t think about how a person who lost a hand in a car accident could be the same as before.

No matter what, I can’t let him exchange my husband’s soul.

I reached for the pepper spray in my pocket…

“Lin Jie, I’m sorry, I was wrong before…”

I pretended to apologize, and when he wasn’t paying attention, I took out the pepper spray and sprayed it on his face.

He screamed and disappeared.

So I quickly picked up the iron rod on the ground and hit him on the head, trying to knock him out.

He couldn’t stand steadily.

He was staggering, but he didn’t fall down, and his eyes were slightly open.

He still held the knife tightly, pointing it at me, and walked like a drunk.

He said, “You can live a good life, why can’t I? You are too selfish. I have had enough. I want to kill you and then go to that world.”

He rushed towards me with a knife, and I could only run backwards, but the aisle behind me was a dead end.

He approached step by step, his swollen face like a devil, he held the knife and raised it to stab me.

I am dying…

I got so excited that I stabbed him with the knife I was going to use to cut my eyelids.

Blood is hot…

His hand stopped in mid-air.

My hands were stained with blood as I stabbed him in the heart.

“Ah…you are so selfish.”

As he spoke, he looked down at the wound, smiled miserably, and fell down.

17

“Lin Jie, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…”

I started crying, remembering the time when I first met Lin Jie many years ago.

Back then, we were both very young and were two carefree idiots.

I killed Lin Jie, but he was the one who wanted to kill me first.

I killed my husband. No, no, no, he is not my husband in this world.

I was totally confused and bewildered.

My son, I did something bad, but I did it to come back to you…

My son, I did something bad, but I did it to prevent my father from being replaced by someone else…

I think my son will understand me.

Son, as long as you understand, mom has done nothing wrong.

I walked back to the hall groggily.

Feng Yuan witnessed this scene and was so frightened that he could not speak. He trembled and begged me not to kill him.

I don’t have time to kill him.

I returned to sit in the middle of the spell, ready to cut my eyelids.

But one thing suddenly occurred to me: the spell must be destroyed after I left.

So that the woman in this world will not exchange souls with me again.

I first deleted the surveillance video on my phone, then turned on the faucet in the kitchen…

I thought the water would overflow and wash away the spells drawn in blood.

18

I put the knife to my eyelids and started…

It hurts like a burning pain!

What followed was an extremely biting cold.

I began to tremble…

I felt the darkness engulfing me little by little.

19

When I woke up, the sun was shining outside the window.

This place… seems to be a hospital ward.

I touched my eyelids and it didn’t hurt anymore.

Then, I stood up, lifted my clothes and looked at my lower abdomen. The scar left by the caesarean section appeared again.

Great, I’m back!

I’m back in my own world.

But why was I in the ward?

Where are your husband and son?

I got out of bed and walked out to find out, and I ran into a caregiver in the corridor.

The nurse saw me and ran to the door of a room and said to the person inside, “Doctor Xue, the patient is awake.”

Then a woman came out of the room and looked at me with a strange expression.

She is, Aunt Xue? !

But why is she wearing a white coat?

How did this happen? How did she become a doctor?

“Aunt Xue?”

“You finally woke up. I’m not Aunt Xue. I’m a psychiatrist and the director of this hospital.”

“A psychiatrist?”

That’s not right. I have never seen a psychiatrist in my original world.

“What kind of hospital is this? I want to go home. I have to go back to my son.”

“Come here first.”

She waved and asked me to come over.

Involuntarily, I followed her to her office.

She sat behind her desk, and the only remaining seating space in the room was a recliner.

I have some resistance to this recliner…

“You can lie down there first,” she said.

I didn’t want to lie down, I felt like that was what sick people did.

“You must have been through a lot of painful things these past two days. Can you tell me about it?”

I shook my head.

“Tell me and I’ll tell you where your son is, okay?”

I looked at her and began to doubt, could it be that this is not my original world either?

Logically speaking, even if another me occupied my body for a day, it wouldn’t require me to see a psychiatrist.

I hesitated for a while, but finally told her about my experiences over the past two days.

“…Now can you tell me where my son is?”

“You don’t have a son now,” she said suddenly.

“You’re talking nonsense. I just checked. I have a caesarean scar on my body.”

“Yes, you had a son, your son with Lin Jie. But later, he died in an accident. After he died, you imagined a world where he was still alive. We tried to let you know that it was fake, but the treatment made you imagine another world in your brain. You suffered in the secondary world of your imagination and wanted to return to the original world, over and over again.”

“What do you mean? Are you saying that everything I experienced yesterday was fake? Feng Yuan, the villa, the murder, were all fake?”

“Not only yesterday, but also the night before yesterday, your memory of being with your son was fake.”

“No, I risked my life to come back. I took care of my son for two years. How could I not remember that? Please stop torturing me.”

I couldn’t control myself and became emotional.

“In fact, any made-up story will always have logical loopholes. Let me ask you, why did Lin Jie suddenly give up his job in Beijing and come home to marry you? At that time, he knew you were pregnant and had a quarrel with your parents.”

“How would I know what he’s thinking?”

“The truth is, you threatened him. You told him that if he didn’t come back, you and the baby in your belly would die. You cut his wrists at the time, and he was frightened and came back. If you don’t believe me, look at your hands yourself.”

I looked at my wrist and saw indeed a scar from cutting my wrists.

I tried hard to recall the scene at that time, which was a critical period in Lin Jie’s career.

He said he would not come back no matter what and asked me to go to Beijing.

Did I forget something?

Aunt Xue, that’s not right, the psychiatrist continued, “After Lin Jie came back, he has been very depressed and his temper has become bad. From the cold violence at the beginning, it turned into physical violence. He couldn’t control himself, so he was the one who committed domestic violence. You just projected his behavior onto other people in your imagination, such as Feng Yuan. Just like dreams, the scenes made up in people’s brains are broken down and reassembled from reality. Domestic violence, wrist slitting, these things happened, and these elements were made into one story after another by you.”

“No…no…” I said, my throat itching.

“Later, something even more horrible happened. Once, Lin Jie had an argument with you and he got so violent that he threw your son to death. You were so angry that you stabbed him to death with a knife.”

“No! No, that’s not true.”

I almost roared from the deepest part of my body.

This is not true…

However, some images came to my mind.

Lin Jie and I were arguing through the door, and he wanted to hit me.

I hid in my son’s room and hugged him tightly.

He first knocked on the door, then kicked it.

He kicked the door open, rushed in, and snatched the child from my arms…

Oh my god…

don’t want!

don’t want!

don’t want!

It was like a knife was stuck in my skull.

I screamed in pain, “This is not real, please, doctor, tell me this is not real.”

“I don’t want this tragedy to be true. But it is true. I know you won’t believe it easily. But as a doctor, I have an obligation to let you know the truth…

“This is not the first time. Every time you try to hurt yourself, you wake up and tell me a new story. What happened in the past two days is just one of the many stories you told me.”

“Please, don’t lie to me, please.”

“I didn’t lie to you. You’ve wanted to escape back to that happiest world more than once, but what happened has already happened and cannot be changed. You have to forgive yourself before you can get better. Otherwise, I can’t help you.”

20

“I don’t believe it. Please let me go home. I want to go home.”

I got up from the recliner and ran out…

But there were two caregivers standing at the door.

“This is a mental hospital. I can’t let you leave.”

I tried to rush out like crazy, but they grabbed me and my struggles were useless.

The doctor said, “Calm down. You just woke up. I don’t want to give you any more medicine. It’s not good for your health.”

I cried, cried loudly…

Because I realized that this could all be true.

But I can’t accept it.

At this time, the doctor took out a mirror from the drawer and gave it to me, saying, “Look for yourself.”

In the mirror, my eyelids were covered with scars, one after another.

One, two, three, four, five, six…

How many times have I had my eyelids cut?

“That ritual was imagined by you. You have done it many times. Wake up. You must get rid of the past before you can get better.”

I collapsed to the ground, feeling overwhelmed with guilt.

I’m not a good mother.

I actually used my son as a tool to lock up Lin Jie?

I am so despicable!

How could I be like this? Son, I’m sorry!

I cried there for a long time. The female doctor saw that I seemed to be awake, so she didn’t give me another injection.

After I recovered, I walked slowly to the courtyard of the mental hospital. The walls were very high and it was a cramped outdoor space. However, the sun was shining brightly!

The other patients seemed to be looking at me and smiling.

I closed my eyes and faced the sun, and my eyes were filled with a warm red.

The warm red color suddenly dimmed and a cool breeze blew by. Was it because the white clouds blocked the sun?

“Don’t believe her! She’s lying to you.”

At this moment, a patient was whispering in my ear, and when I opened my eyes, she was gone.

Ah, I see.

My child must be outside the fence…

Or maybe, he is waiting for me in the original world…

This is just another possibility of my life, another parallel world.

No matter what the possibility is, as long as I find the right way, I will definitely be able to return to my son, definitely.

The clouds drifted away, the sun shone on my face again, and my heart was filled with hope.