My childhood sweetheart doesn’t love me

I ran into a girl wrapped in a bath towel at the house of the boy I had a crush on .

She must have just come out of the shower, her hair was still dripping with water and her cheeks were slightly pink.

The door to the master bedroom was still open, and there was an ambiguous darkness inside.

It’s hard not to imagine what happened between them.

I even vaguely smelled a disgusting salty smell in the air.

Xiao Huai, Xiao Huai, the boy I have liked for ten years had sex with another girl today.

relation.

After ten years of secret love, at this moment, I finally gave up.

Xiao Huai was in a car accident and broke his right leg. He will have to lie down for at least a month.

During this period, he cannot take care of himself and needs someone to take care of him.

At my mother’s repeated urging, I took the cooked porridge to the hospital.

Xiao Huai is really rich, and he lives in a single room. I couldn’t help but sigh.

He was reading a book. When he heard the noise, he looked up slightly and looked at me.

Not long ago, she vowed that she would never bother him again, but now she is…

Baba appeared in front of him, and I stood at the door, feeling a little embarrassed.

I have said similar things many times over the years, so much so that Xiao Huai later

The “determination” has become immune, from the initial indifference and anger to the later indifference,

After I finished speaking that day, I even saw a hint of contempt and ridicule in his eyes.

In fact, although it is said to be many times, in reality it is only three times.

Every failure and compromise made him more certain that I couldn’t live without him.

But he doesn’t know that every time I am really disappointed, my loss and sadness are

It’s real, and the feeling of wanting to give up is also real.

This time I really realized that I didn’t seem to like him that much.

I didn’t want to come.

But my mother said, “You have flexible working hours, so you can take care of Xiao Huai.

We have been neighbors for so many years. Xiao Huai is also your brother. The two children should take care of each other when they are outside.

answer.”

I was still holding my refusal in my mouth when Xiao Huai’s mother took the phone again and said gently

She gratefully asked me to look after her son.

I said, “But Xiao Huai has a girlfriend.” “Girlfriend? When did Xiao Huai have a girlfriend?” Everyone on the other end was surprised.

A few minutes later, my mother called me again and said, “Your aunt asked, Xiao Huai said

He doesn’t have a girlfriend, you’re wrong.”

“…” He just doesn’t want to tell you yet.

Pour out the seafood porridge from the thermos, and the delicious fragrance fills the whole room in an instant.

I handed him the bowl, he looked at me and took it silently.

After just one bite, he felt something was wrong, “Did you buy it from outside?”

I nodded and found a chair to sit down. “I came in such a hurry that I didn’t have time to cook.”

Xiao Huai pursed his lips slightly.

I said, “Just eat a little bit for now, I’ll make it for you next time.”

Xiao Huai doesn’t like eating outside food, firstly because he thinks it’s not clean, and secondly because he hates the taste of the seasoning.

Too heavy.

Seafood porridge is complicated to make. It requires four or five kinds of ingredients, and you also need to process the shrimp whiskers and shrimps.

If it were in the past, I might have finished it for him an hour or two in advance.

Soon, Chen Qi arrived.

In the dog days of summer, her cheeks were tanned and she was panting. She smiled and said, “Xiao Huai, I

I brought you some porridge, which I made myself.” I noticed that she was wearing a denim skirt.

The reason why I care so much is that when we first met, Xiao Huai praised me with admiration.

She said, “You look good in a skirt.”

In sharp contrast, in the same situation, when I wore a skirt, other boys stared at me.

Looking at her legs, only Xiao Huai frowned and said, “Why are you wearing such strange clothes?”

Because of this sentence, I rarely wear skirts until now.

After that, I thought hard about what kind of girl could be considered “suitable” in Xiao Huai’s eyes.

Finally, it was concluded that Chen Qi was very thin, with a good waist-to-hip ratio.

With long straight black hair, she can wear any skirt with elegance.

I worked hard to lose weight, starved myself to the point of being pale and skinny, weak and powerless.

Under 95 pounds. Jia Jia scolded me bitterly: “Your skin is whiter than hers, and your waist is

She is thin, her breasts are firmer than hers, and she has a beautiful swan neck, but no matter how much a man treats you

No feeling means no feeling, don’t you understand?”

I understand, but I can’t help it.

The dress she is wearing now is very similar to the one that Xiao Huai once disliked.

Very short, wrapping the hip line perfectly.

When Xiao Huai saw what Chen Qi was wearing, there was no change in his expression.

Sure enough, it’s not the skirt that’s strange, it’s just that it’s different for different people.

“Thank you, but I just ate.” Xiao Huai put down the bowl. “Oh, is that so.” Chen Qi was a little disappointed.

I took the thermos and said, “It’s okay. You can heat it up and eat it at night.”

That way I don’t have to cook it.

I opened the lid and smelled it, thinking with delight.

Xiao Huai glanced at me.

They were chatting and I was sitting aside with my head down playing with my phone.

Xiao Huai was obviously much more considerate towards Chen Qi and even handed her a blanket to cover her legs.

I lay down on the table and fell asleep unknowingly.

I have always known that Xiao Huai doesn’t like me.

We met too early. I shaved my head and ran around in a small vest every day.

The image of a tanned girl was deeply rooted in his mind.

I was a tomboy, so to him I was always the skinny neighbor.

For children at home, even their gender is unclear.

Even though I started growing my hair long after entering high school, many people still praised my figure after my growth.

However, his impression of me remained unchanged.

The last time I felt frustrated was probably when I accidentally overheard him talking about me with Chen Qi.

He teased casually, “You mean Yao Jin? Even rabbits know not to eat grass near their nests.” However, even so, I could only stand quietly at the door with my breakfast, adjusting my mood.

Then pretend nothing happened and walk in.

I was afraid that after I pointed it out, the last bit of contact between him and me would be severed.

It’s so humble that even I find it funny.

A few days ago, I ran into Chen Qi in Xiao Huai’s room, who was only wearing  a bath towel .

She just came out of the bathroom, her hair still dripping with water, revealing her fair, smooth, fragrant

Shoulders, she looks much purer without makeup than with makeup.

We looked at each other, surprise flashed across her face, then she let out a short scream and dodged.

Behind Xiao Huai.

The door to the master bedroom was still open, and there was an ambiguous darkness inside.

I vaguely smelled a disgusting salty smell in the air.

Xiao Huai, Xiao Huai, the boy I have liked for ten years had sex with another girl today.

relation.

Although she looked panicked, we both knew that I was the one who was in trouble.

I maintained my last bit of dignity and calmly handed over the phone. “Auntie can’t contact you.

He was very anxious, so he called me. “

Xiao Huai glanced at me without much emotion on his face, took the phone and walked aside.

“Hello? Mom, I’m here.” He didn’t care what I thought.

I lowered my eyes slightly so that I didn’t have to look at her.

It was this girl who, for a whole month, came into Xiao Huai’s house every morning and

He would leave around six or seven in the evening. Occasionally, when he met me, he would greet me with a smile.

In the past, he never allowed girls to enter or leave his house. I was an exception, but now even this only

There are no more exceptions.

Maybe it was jealousy, I always felt that smile was mixed with a hint of irony and arrogance.

Glory.

Should I be glad that she didn’t spend the night at his house?

I was still thinking about it at that time.

I didn’t expect to be slapped in the face so soon.

After talking to my mother, Xiao Huai returned the phone to me and explained, “I didn’t notice that the phone

The power is turned off automatically.

“Yeah.” I made sure I didn’t show too much facial expression and said it in a normal tone.

“Then I’ll go back.”

Xiao Huai stared at me for a while, his expression hard to read, “Okay.”

I turned around, but was stopped by Chen Qi. She said a little embarrassedly, “I drank too much last night, and my clothes are smelly.

I don’t want to wear it anymore, can I borrow a set from you?”

She curled her lips and said, “I think we are similar in size.”

I paused, turned around and smiled, “Okay.”

After returning home, I sat in the dim room for a long time. How did I spend that day?

I don’t want to recall, I just know that when people are really powerless, they don’t cry too much

I know very well what it means for a girl to take a shower in a single man’s home.

I don’t want to guess what happened between them or how it happened, but those

Fragments and images kept pouring into my mind, and when I came to my senses, my palms were already

I pinched myself until it was purple.

Looking at the layers of nail marks on the palms of my hands, I suddenly felt very sad.

After that I decided to let it go.

I even planned to leave this city.

But who would have thought that within two days, Xiao Huai had a car accident.

…

When I woke up, it was already night. I raised my head dazedly and rubbed my sore arms.

“Where’s Chen Qi?”

Xiao Huai seemed to be in a bad mood. He said briefly, “Let’s go.” I was still wondering if they had a quarrel when I saw Xiao Huai close the computer and frown.

Heart, “Give me the chamber pot under the bed.”

I was stunned for a moment, “Oh… OK.”

Xiao Huai lifted the quilt, revealing his blue and white striped hospital pants.

I didn’t dare to look, “Do you want me to step aside?”

He seemed to be smiling.

“what ever.”

I had to stay with him at night, so I looked at Xiao Huai from time to time to see if he was sleeping.

Calculate.

At eleven o’clock, Xiao Huai finally turned off the computer and said, “Get a hot  towel over here, I’ll wipe it.

Wipe your body.

“Wipe your body?”

Well, he hadn’t showered for at least three days since the accident.

I came out with a towel and Xiao Huai was unbuttoning his clothes.

As his chest and abdominal muscles were exposed, he took off his shirt completely. He was slightly thin but

It doesn’t look thin, and the muscle lines are smooth. If it were before, my face would have been red, and I would want to look but dare not.

Who wouldn’t be a little pervert when facing a man they like?

Xiao Huai took the towel and wiped his neck and arms.

His strong chest rose and fell slightly with his breathing.

As I was watching, I became a little distracted.

After a while, he handed me a towel and said, “Go wash it.”

“oh.”

I am like a hardworking young wife.

The towel was washed, but he didn’t take it. “Back.”

I understood and took the towel to wipe him carefully.

The skin under my hands is smooth and flexible, very different from the delicate and soft skin of a girl.

Xiao Huai didn’t say anything until I wiped his waist, then he suddenly pressed my

hand.

“Are you ready?” I asked.

He glanced at me without saying anything.

“Do you want to wipe down there too?” I was stunned after asking this.

Xiao Huai also froze for a moment, then lowered his eyes and looked at me with a complicated expression.

It’s over.

I felt regretful. How could I flirt with a man who had a girlfriend? He would surely

You are going to misunderstand me.

“Or should we hire a caregiver?” I suggested seriously after we finished cleaning up.

Xiao Huai frowned, “Do you think I’m troublesome?”

“Maybe we should wait until Chen Qi comes to deal with this kind of thing in the future.” I said, “After all,

She is your girlfriend.”

Xiao Huai: “She is not my girlfriend.”

Even if you have slept together, she is still not your girlfriend.

Xiao Huai, when did you become such a scumbag?

I told Jia Jia about the day I ran into Chen Qi taking a bath at Xiao Huai’s house.

She gritted her teeth in anger, “You’re not still devoted to him at this point, are you?”

I rubbed my face and said, “I have given up and originally planned to leave here and return to South City. But

Didn’t Xiao Huai have a car accident? My mother asked me to take care of him for a while. “Wait a minute, I remember that I have a brother who also seems to work in City A. Let me ask.”

Jia Jia said generously, “Let me introduce my brother to you! He is very handsome.”

“When did you get a brother?”

“My cousin, I’ll ask him to add you on WeChat.”

A few minutes later, someone named JL sent a friend request.

After that, we didn’t say anything.

Maybe he is not interested in me, but it is hard to refuse.

I didn’t take it seriously and soon forgot about it.

It took about a week. After X-ray examination, the fracture was not displaced.

Only then can you be discharged from the hospital.

During this period, Chen Qi would visit him every day.

She would bring fruits and food to Xiao Huai, which saved me a lot of trouble.

Xiao Huai was very polite to her. In fact, he was very polite to everyone except me.

color.

Chen Qi asked me with concern if I needed to go home and rest, and she would take care of it here.

.

“Is it okay?” I didn’t sleep well in the hospital, and Xiao Huai sometimes had to get up.

Sometimes I need to drink water at night, and I always have to wake up twice a night. She smiled sweetly, “Of course.”

Xiao Huai, who was lying on the bed, looked over with a serious look.

I picked up my bag and said, “I’ll come back in the evening.”

Before leaving, I saw Xiao Huai pursed his thin lips, which showed that he was angry.

He had a severe cold in his freshman year and had a high fever that wouldn’t go away.

I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I couldn’t carry him, so I could only stay awake all night in the rental house.

He tried every way to cool him down and his eyes turned red from staying up all night.

The two of us were studying in another city alone, without any relatives or friends. That night I really felt

helpless.

Fortunately, his fever subsided a lot the next day, and he regained consciousness. He opened his eyes and looked silently at

I.

I couldn’t help but let the tears fall after holding them back all night, and asked him stammeringly if he was hungry.

Hungry, want to eat something.

The flu was rampant during that time, and Xiao Huai asked me, “Aren’t you afraid of being infected?”

I was so in love that I said, “I would rather be the one who is sick.”

Xiao Huai was silent.

If I were in that situation, I would definitely not feel comfortable leaving Xiao Huai, who was injured in the car accident, to another person.

Girls, right? …

“Be careful.”

I was so lost in my memories that I didn’t notice that I almost bumped into someone in the hospital corridor.

The man put his index finger on my forehead to prevent me from bumping into him, and his tone was not too blaming.

Meaning.

I looked up in confusion and saw that it was a very young doctor, very tall.

He was at least a head taller than me, wearing a white coat, and had particularly distinctive eyebrows, eyes and nose.

He smiled at me, glanced at the ward behind me, and walked away past me.

An idea suddenly occurred to me.

It turns out other boys can be so handsome too.

In the evening, when I was on the way to the hospital, Jiajia suddenly sent me a message saying that her cousin had passed away.

He has visited me and thinks I am cute.

Me: ??? When?

Jia Jia: Wait for him to tell you himself, he won’t let me tell you.

So I entered Xiao Huai’s ward full of doubts.

There was a man sitting on the bed with gauze wrapped around his forehead. He smiled brightly when he saw me.

“Jin is here.” Xiao Huai said, “This is Chen Qi’s brother, Chen Wu.”

“Hahaha, you may not know me yet, but I have known you for a long time.” Chen Wu

Stand up and say hello to me.

Xiao Huai had a blank expression on his face. “He was sitting in the passenger seat on the day of the accident.”

“How dare you bring this up? It’s not your fault.” Chen Wu slapped Xiao Huai’s face.

With her plastered leg, she looked up at me and said aggrievedly, “Yao Jin, you don’t even know…”

“Okay, you can go back now.”

“If you don’t want me to tell you, then I’m really leaving.” Chen Wu walked out reluctantly.

go.

I took out the clothes I had brought from Xiao Huai’s house and asked, “What happened that night?”

What? How did a car accident happen? “

He didn’t answer.

Xiao Huai has mysophobia, and not washing his hair for two days is the limit. I went to the bathroom and got a basin of water for him.

He dry-cleaned, massaging his scalp carefully amidst the abundant foam. Xiao Huai closed his eyes.

His facial features are usually so handsome that they make people’s heart beat faster.

There is a light warmth flowing in the air, and only at this moment will I feel that, or

Maybe he has feelings for me too.

This kind of feeling contains habit and trust, but unfortunately it is not the love I want. After the hair was blown, I couldn’t help but touch it twice. His hair was in good quality, black, shiny, and smooth.

It makes even a girl like me envious.

Xiao Huai held my wrist and grasped my right hand in his palm.

I have a small frame and look thin, but I actually have a lot of flesh. Jiajia always likes to hug me and say I am soft.

It’s so comfortable to hug.

I don’t know if it’s because of this, but Xiao Huai likes to pinch my palm and often

He held my hand and rubbed it, but the palm of my hand was my sensitive area.

Just a few touches made my ears feel hot, my body temperature rose uncontrollably, and my mind became restless.

I don’t know if he realizes this, but I liked him in the past, even though it was difficult.

I feel pain, but I endure it every time, and even feel a little sweet about it.

But this time, I pulled my hand back.

Xiao Huai’s palm felt empty. He looked up at me, his eyes a little dark.

You see, it turns out that not liking him isn’t that difficult.

…

The next morning, when the chief physician and several other doctors came to make rounds, I saw it again.

The handsome doctor yesterday.

He was standing behind the director and smiled at me.

After asking about my health as usual, the director nodded and said that I was recovering well. He also reminded me

After giving some precautions, he led a group of people away. The doctor was the last one to come and took a look at Xiao Huai’s medical records. “Discharge the day after tomorrow?”

I said “hmm”.

“So fast.” He said something vaguely, but I couldn’t hear it clearly.

The doctor glanced at my face and smiled, “Hello, Yao Jin, I’m Jiang

Lin.

After saying that, he walked out.

I suddenly realized something.

Jiang Lin? JL?

Xiao Huai asked: “Who is he?”

I said blankly, “It seems to be the person Jiajia introduced to me.”

On the day Xiao Huai was discharged from the hospital, Chen Qi also came.

I was busy arranging discharge arrangements, and she was there chatting with Xiao Huai. The two of us were so close.

Very close, Chen Qi even put his hand on his arm.

I sighed.

This is the sadness of being a bootlicker. They are in love, while I am thinking about how to get the medical expenses reimbursed.

In the chaos, I lost Xiao Huai’s medical insurance card. I was so anxious that I ran into Jiang

Lin, he accompanied me to look for it all the way, and finally found that the nurse had picked it up and put it at the front desk.

I was in a daze and he personally took me to the discharge window to go through the settlement procedures.

Then he looked at my bags and asked if I needed help.

I felt a little embarrassed, “Will it take up your time…”

He curled his lips and spoke in a pleasant voice, “If it were you, then you wouldn’t.”

Even when she flirts with me on purpose she’s still so cute.

Jiang Lin helped me carry my luggage to the underground garage of the hospital, and also helped Xiao Huai, who was unable to move,

After getting into the car and doing all this, he looked at the other two and then turned his gaze to me.

“Then I’ll go back first. If you have any problems with the subsequent recovery, you can contact me.

If you have any questions, you can come to me. “

I nodded, my heart filled with gratitude, “Thank you, Dr. Jiang.”

He smiled and waved at me.

From beginning to end, Xiao Huai didn’t say a word.

Chen Qi asked me with a smile: “Boyfriend?”

I opened the car door and was silent for a while. “Not yet.”

Xiao Huai and I are neighbors. Not only when we were kids, but we are neighbors now.

In order to be closer to him, I, a fresh graduate, saved money and lived in a house 20 minutes away from the company.

I live in the city center, paying half of my monthly salary in rent.

I always think about how to save money for tomorrow’s meal.

Things got better only later when I started earning more from writing.

Now it is convenient to take care of him.

Xiao Huai was very quiet today. He wasn’t even interested in Chen Qi chatting with him in the car.

It was interesting, but I was already used to his cold and indifferent look, so I didn’t pay too much attention to it.

His bone injury is not serious, and he can already wash himself, but he still needs to try his best.

Reduce activity.

In the video, my mom asked me to watch him and not let him fall down at home alone.

I moved my laptop to his house. In the past few days, I have been unable to keep up with the updates in order to take care of him.

It has been severely condemned by a large number of readers.

Can I say it’s to take care of my crush? He has a girlfriend, although he doesn’t admit it.

I recognize that it is his girlfriend.

They must think I’m a mistress.

Jiang Lin would chat with me under the pretext of caring about the patient, and I would also use asking about the patient’s condition as an excuse to find

He chatted and we understood each other tacitly.

As time went by, I wanted to see him for a physical examination. Unfortunately, he was not a gynecologist, and I would have to go through a lot of pain to see him.

Interestingly, after recovering from his concussion, Chen Wu often came over with his fashion designs.

Discuss the draft and finished product with Xiao Huai.

It turned out that they wanted to open an online store focusing on original designs. It was still in the early stages of establishment.

Their home became a studio and Chen Qi was their model.

“Actually, there is a ready-made model here. My sister’s style is too monotonous.

Some styles are not suitable for her.” Chen Wu stroked his chin and looked at me.

Xiao Huai closed his eyes and didn’t look at me, “She can’t.”

Chen Wu spread his hands towards me helplessly.

I curled my lips and said nothing.

I am no longer like before, and I will fall into self-doubt because of his casual comments.

suspect.

At night, I was sitting on the balcony enjoying the breeze while my mother was talking to me on a video call.

As we were chatting, she suddenly mentioned Xiao Huai to me, and her tone was very tactful, “The matter of feelings

You can’t force it. After all these years, if we could be together, we would have been together a long time ago…”

I said, “Mom, I understand. I don’t think I like him that much anymore.”

My mother was stunned for a moment. This was the first time I said this so calmly.

At that time, she just cried with red eyes: Xiao Huai, do you really think I will die if I leave you?

Don’t worry, I won’t cling to you anymore.

But I never said that I didn’t like him anymore.

Mom nodded and said nothing.

After hanging up the video, I turned around.

Xiao Huai was standing behind me, looking at me expressionlessly.

Two weeks later, Jiang Lin finally went on a date with me.

On the day of the meeting, I deliberately wore a skirt that I thought was very beautiful.

I still felt a little uncomfortable seeing Jiang Lin outside the hospital.

He took off his white coat and put on a casual shirt. He had a narrow waist and long legs.

Clean, a breath of young talent came to my face, I didn’t know Jia Jia actually had

Such a handsome cousin.

He looked me over for a moment. “Very different from your usual style.”

I was a little nervous, “I rarely wear skirts.”

“Well, if you look so good in this outfit, you should wear less.” I was stunned and looked up at him.

He raised his lips, his eyes gentle.

I suddenly relaxed.

For the next whole day, I finally experienced what it was like to be taken care of by my boyfriend as a girl.

feeling.

Jiang Lin seems to be particularly patient with girls. It was too hot at noon, because I casually said I wanted to

Drinking peach frappuccino, he asked me to wait in my seat while he went to Starbucks and lined up for more than ten minutes.

Minute team.

When I praised him to Jiajia on WeChat, Jiajia looked incredulous and said that every time

She said she wanted to drink milk tea and eat dessert, Jiang Lin would just tell her that the sugar content was so high that she would have to eat too much.

It’s easy to ruin your face, not to mention buying it for her personally.

“I’ve grown up and he’s never even bought me a lollipop.” Jia Jia was indignant.

“Haha, ask him later what to do if you get acne after drinking milk tea.”

When Jiang Lin came back, I relayed the problem to him in detail.

Jiang Lin handed the frappuccino to me, sat down on the chair opposite, and said calmly:

“You have normal skin, so you don’t usually get acne. It’s okay even if you do get acne.

I also know a little bit about dermatology.”

I sincerely praised him: “You are awesome.”

He curled his lips slightly. Jiang Lin’s smile was sunny and refreshing.

Most importantly, he has me in his eyes.

Unlike Xiao Huai who is always cold, I need to carefully cater to his preferences and ideas.

Method, keep your heart hanging in the air, following the ups and downs of his emotions.

Sometimes, while chatting, I would feel sorry for wasting Jiang Lin’s time. “Doctors should

Very busy.

“I’m very busy,” he said, “that’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

It has been four or five days since our last date.

As soon as I had the idea, he sent me a message: Do you want to go out to see a movie in the evening?

It turns out that a relationship where both parties have a good impression of each other is like this, no longer just bitter grievances

When I was still timid and didn’t dare to test him, I found that he was also trying to get close to me.

close.

The movie ended very late and Jiang Lin took me home.

The car stopped outside the community. When I got out of the car, he naturally held my hand and let me

My heart beat faster.

Then I was stunned myself.

“Which building do you live in?” he asked.

“Building 27,” I said. “It’ll take about a minute or two to walk there.” He nodded. “Then I’ll take you downstairs.”

I looked at the time. It was past half past eleven. Xiao Huai should have gone to bed.

He had just had his plaster removed two days ago and has no major problems with basic movements. He no longer needs

I always look after it.

In order to spend more time with Jiang Lin, I took him around the community.

I don’t know if he noticed it, but I felt a little guilty.

What is coming will eventually come. Five minutes later, we stopped steadily at the apartment building where my family lived.

At the door.

“Good night.” I said reluctantly.

“Yao Jin.” He called me, then moved closer, put his hands on my waist and kissed me.

Come down.

When he let me go, I gasped quickly and almost collapsed in his arms.

He relied on his arms to support himself and didn’t fall to the ground.

His voice was a little hoarse, “Xiao Jin, you are too sensitive.”

It’s so embarrassing, my whole face is burning.

But my tailbone was still feeling numb and tingling.

He is obviously a little pervert, but he has never been in a relationship since he was born.

Jiang Lin whispered in my ear, “If you do this, I will want to kiss you again.” I buried my face in his shoulder and pretended not to understand what he was saying.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar male voice from behind me, “Yao Jin.”

I was startled and turned around slowly. It was Xiao Huai.

Why is he still out so late?

Half of Xiao Huai’s face was hidden in the darkness, and his expression could not be seen clearly.

I was a little embarrassed, but I didn’t let go of Jiang Lin’s hand. I looked at him for a while before I

He whispered, “Be careful on the road.”

Jiang Lin nodded, looked at Xiao Huai again, walked past him and left.

I didn’t say anything, swiped my card, opened the door of the apartment building, and walked in.

Xiao Huai followed me into the elevator.

If I were caught kissing for the first time, even if it was a stranger, I would be a little embarrassed, let alone

Xiao Huai, who grew up with me, I suddenly didn’t know how to face him.

“Kissing a man I’ve only met a few times.” After we got out of the elevator, Xiao Huai

“Yao Jin, why didn’t I know you could be so casual before?”

“

Whatever? Why does he say that?

A sudden surge of anger rose in my heart.

“Xiao Huai, I’m an adult now.” I turned around and tried to speak in a calm tone.

Talk to him, “It’s normal to fall in love, not to mention that we are just…

for a moment.

“I can kiss you after just knowing you for a few days, so shouldn’t you guys go to bed soon?

?”

“So what if we had sex?” I said angrily. “I may not be considered

Girl, but in his eyes I am! 」

With a bang, Xiao Huai punched the wall behind me.

This was the first time I saw him so angry.

Her eyes, which had always been indifferent, were now bloodshot as she stared at me, her thin lips pursed until they turned pale.

Xiao Huai, Xiao Huai, what are you angry about?

For the next two days, Xiao Huai stayed indoors.

Even Chen Wu was turned away by him.

Xiao Huai’s mother came to me again to ask about his situation, and I gave her Chen Qi’s cell phone number.

She said this is your son’s girlfriend. Half an hour later, there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and saw Xiao Huai with a gloomy face and raised his hand.

The agent asked me, “Why did you give Chen Qi’s phone number to my mother?”

I said calmly, “I just asked her to find the right person.”

Xiao Huai’s throat moved.

…

After that night, Jiang Lin asked me if Xiao Huai did anything to me after he left.

I said, “He’s fine, he’s just a little worried about me, after all, we grew up together.

The older one is considered a half-sister.”

Jiang Lin asked: “Do you really believe that he only treats you as a sister?”

I was silent.

But if not, then what are all these years of mine worth?

“I’m worried about you living so close to him.” Jiang Lin got straight to the point.

My friend’s house next door has been vacant for a long time and is looking for a tenant recently.”

He said: “The rent will be much cheaper than where you live now. If possible,

Would you like to consider it?”

A year ago, another girl was pursuing Xiao Huai. She found out where he lived and tried her best to

He wanted to snatch the house across from his house from me, but the contract was not yet signed.

For Xiao Huai, I gritted my teeth and agreed to the landlord’s request for a 20% rent increase. Later, the girl was still harassing me several times and mocking me.

Xiao Huai wouldn’t like me anyway, so I shouldn’t just occupy the toilet without doing anything.

I thought about it and sent a message: Do you still want the house? I plan to sublet it.

The other end was very surprised: Is this true? Didn’t you say you would die in that house?

inside.

No wonder she was surprised. At that time, I was so poor that I didn’t even have money to change my underwear.

I thought about moving to a cheaper house.

I typed on the computer and replied with a voice message, “Really, this house is small and

It’s expensive, I want to change the environment.”

The other party hesitated for a long time before saying “OK”, “Don’t regret it!”

“But I want to make it clear to you, Xiao Huai already has a girlfriend. If you move in,

For him, it might not make sense.”

“Who said I want to live alone?” She smiled. “The girlfriend of Xiao Huai you mentioned is

I know him, too.”

I was stunned for a moment, then realized something.

Does Chen Qi want to move here?

The next day, Xiao Huai knocked on my door again.

I have to say that he has been visiting me more often recently than in the past month combined. The door opened and he looked grim and gloomy, as if he wanted to say something, but then he saw the room

I had already packed my luggage and paused, “You want to move out?”

I said “hmm”.

Xiao Huai didn’t speak for a long time. I turned around and wanted to go back to pack my things.

At that moment, my hand was grabbed.

“Who are you moving to?” He asked in a low voice, “Jiang Lin?”

I took a deep breath and said, “This is none of your business.”

Xiao Huai almost crushed my wrist, his tone was frighteningly cold, “Yao Jin, you know

What does it mean to live with a man?

I frowned in pain, “I’m already 24 years old, I can be responsible for myself.”

He took a step forward. “So, you have already developed to that stage?”

I pursed my lips and said nothing.

“What do you like about him?” Xiao Huai seemed even angrier. He approached me and spoke coldly.

It was almost sarcastic, “Because he would put his hands on you?”

I had no choice but to take a few steps back, my face flushed with shame and anger.

Suddenly I remembered that year, when I was carrying a bitter secret love, and I didn’t know what to do.

I shouldn’t have confessed to him. I finally gathered up a little courage, but I saw Xiao Huai, who was pure and innocent in my heart and looked down on everyone, bowing his head under the sycamore tree outside the school.

Kiss a girl.

My world collapsed at that moment.

He put his hand on the girl’s shoulder, closed his eyes, and looked distracted but gentle.

It was the first time I experienced jealousy, and the first time I felt ashamed of myself.

dirty.

He may not like that girl that much, it is more likely that he is just in the rebellious period and has a certain attitude towards relationships between men and women.

But that scene made me realize that he would never treat me like that.

In his eyes, I’m not even a woman.

If that’s the case, why should he be angry because another man kissed me?

I looked up at him and said, “Yes, I like him, so I am willing to give him a kiss.”

In the hot summer, I wore a loose T-shirt and a pair of gray shorts.

It was barely covered by the hem of the T-shirt.

Xiao Huai grabbed my shoulders and slid his hands along my back into my clothes, causing a

Shiver.

I am a very sensitive person. Even pinching my palms will make me blush and my heart beat faster.

It even stopped.

He placed his hands on the buttons of my underwear, looked me in the eyes and said, “Yao Jin, this is it.

Is this what you want?” I couldn’t believe it and pushed him away, “Xiao Huai, you are crazy.”

Xiao Huai looked at me silently, his eyes gradually becoming darker.

…

I packed all my things and on the moving day, Jiang Lin also came to help me.

When I saw him studying a photo of me from high school, I quickly hid it.

“Jia Jia showed me your junior high school photo.” He curled his lips, “Well, short hair looks very handsome.

gas.”

“Nonsense, would you still like me if I were like that?”

He hesitated for a moment, “It’s fine as long as the gender remains unchanged.”

“…”

The luggage was emptied one by one by the movers. I took a last look around the empty house.

between.

I came to this city for Xiao Huai, and now I stay for Jiang Lin.

Just as we were about to leave, Xiao Huai’s door opened.

There was a dark shadow in his eyes, as if he hadn’t rested well all night. He slowly said my name,

“Yao Jin.” He didn’t pay attention to Jiang Lin behind me, and reached out to hold my wrist, “Don’t move away,

So?”

It’s rare to be humble.

I can’t describe how I feel.

When I got into Jiang Lin’s car, he saw that I was in a bad mood and considerately didn’t say anything.

Xiao Huai’s sudden change did not shake me.

I just don’t understand.

Why on earth can he talk about love with other girls while asking me to be like

Stay with him like before.

What am I in his heart?

After moving into Jiang Lin’s house, we spent most of the day putting our things in order. We were so tired that we collapsed.

On the sofa.

“Are you hungry?” I asked.

He said “hmm”.

“Order takeout?” I was so tired that I didn’t even want to move my fingers. He smiled at me, pulled me up from the sofa, took me into his house and cooked a bowl of Italian food.

Give me some Italian noodles.

“From now on, we are neighbors,” he said. “It’s very convenient for us to do anything.

many.”

I pretended not to understand, “What are we going to do?”

Jiang Lin looked at me, smiled and said nothing.

All sorts of random thoughts started to run through my mind, so I quickly stopped eating my noodles.

A few days later, Jia Jia asked me on the phone whether her cousin was nice to me and whether he bullied me.

I.

I wonder how that could be? Jiang Lin is a good person.

Jia Jia said angrily that he had dated two girlfriends before, but they were both dissatisfied with each other.

They broke up at the age of 18, and they were all full of complaints, saying that he didn’t care about them at all.

People who seem easy to get along with are actually the most unkind.

Even when he discovered that one of them was cheating, Jiang Lin remained calm.

He doesn’t believe in love at all.

Jia Jia said that she was relieved to see that I really let go of Xiao Huai, and she introduced Jiang Lin to me only because

He wanted to divert my attention, but he never thought that we would really be together.

How much of Jiang Lin’s love for me is genuine, and how much of him just needs a girlfriend?

Or help Jia Jia take care of me. I don’t really mind.

I just want to have a normal relationship.

I put the same enthusiasm I had for Xiao Huai on him, carefully observing his tastes and preferences.

I cooked a table of his favorite dishes according to the time when he got off work.

When Jiang Lin returned home, he was stunned for a moment when he saw the food, then he washed his hands and sat down to eat in silence.

meal.

I was a little confused. “Is it not tasty? What do you think is wrong? I will change it next time.

Enter.”

Jiang Lin shook his head. “I haven’t had food that suits my taste so well in a long time.”

He is very gentle and considerate of my feelings.

But I always feel something is wrong.

After being with me, Jiang Lin devoted all his free time to me.

He would accompany me to watch movies, play games, go to the night market, or take me to the gym.

I went to the gym with my weak constitution and he acted as my free personal trainer.

I could feel that he was taking this relationship as seriously as I was.

But there always seems to be something between us.

I can’t figure out what the problem is.

Finally one day, I learned that he had not returned home all night and did not come back until six in the morning. I had stayed up all night to update, so I dragged my tired body and cooked a bowl of steaming dumplings for him.

“Why did you reply to my message so late?” I couldn’t help but yawn. “Why didn’t you come back last night?”

He looked at the dumplings and didn’t answer me.

I thought he didn’t want to talk, so I didn’t ask any more questions. I pulled out a chair and sat down beside him, leaning my heavy head against his chest, wanting to finish the meal with him.

“Are you so nice to him too?” Jiang Lin asked in a low and slow voice.

I was stunned.

“He didn’t reply to your messages, didn’t come home, but he didn’t complain at all, and he was worried that I didn’t have breakfast.” He said, “Whenever I think about that person who had been treated like this, I feel like something is blocking my chest.”

Jiang Lin had heard about Xiao Huai and I from Jia Jia a few times. At that time, he just thought it was funny. How could there be such a silly girl?

He takes relationships so seriously that it makes people sigh.

At that time I just felt regretful, but now I feel a little jealous.

Jiang Lin looked me in the eyes and said, “There was an emergency last night. The patient’s five fingers were severely injured by the machine. We spent six hours performing the operation on him. After that, we were busy communicating with the family, so I didn’t have time to reply to you.” He was explaining to me.

I nodded and wanted to say something, but didn’t.

“My tolerance seems to have become smaller.” He pulled the corner of his mouth, a little self-deprecating, “even

I began to unconsciously compare whether I could win over Xiao Huai in your heart.

“But I really like you.” I tried to organize my words, “I feel

I am happy, waiting for you to come home every day, and even want to leave you to spend more time with you.

I will give up my moral principles and live with you. “

I regretted the second sentence I said and stood up from my chair.

In order to show his loyalty to Jiang Lin, he accidentally exposed his true nature as a pervert.

“Really?” He held my hand and smiled, not wanting me to be a coward.

“Want to live with me?”

“…So, do you want to live together?”

He put his arm around my waist.

“want.”

Oh, it’s time to move again.

During the Dragon Boat Festival holiday, I took Jiang Lin back to my hometown.

My mother was very happy. After all, Jiang Lin was a handsome man. It was his first visit, so he was sensible enough to bring my father a few bottles of good wine, and gave my mother a jade bracelet worth at least tens of thousands of yuan, and a jade Buddha of good quality.

He didn’t tell me the price explicitly, and I originally thought it was too expensive and didn’t dare to accept it, but my mother couldn’t let it go, and even the way she looked at Jiang Lin was very kind.

Jiang Lin always kept smiling, and the family atmosphere was harmonious and happy.

I had to swallow my words.

To my surprise, Xiao Huai also came back.

Chen Wu was with him. I looked around but didn’t see Chen Qi getting out of his car.

Bringing a grown man home means you want to come out?

Xiao Huai has a cold personality and he doesn’t even speak politely in front of his elders. I don’t know if it’s my illusion, but he seems to have something on his mind. This time when he returned home, he was even more silent than before.

Fortunately, Chen Wu was very capable and took over the questioning from the elders on his behalf, making them laugh with just a few words.

Our two families have always had a good relationship. This time, the two children came back from other places together, and they simply set up a table at my house, with Dad Xiao and Mom cooking.

I went to the kitchen to join in the fun, but my mother drove me out with a scornful look on my face. I could only lean against Jiang Lin and ask for comfort. Jiang Lin fed me an orange slice in a funny way.

I peeled another one for him and gave him half.

The dishes were served one after another, and everyone was present. Jiang Lin wiped my face with a wet tissue.

My palms were sticky, and I rubbed them with my fingers one by one. I felt something strange, and my ears were

A little hot.

Jiang Lin noticed my strangeness and didn’t let go after wiping. Instead, he held my hand and squeezed it.

He rubbed it, his fingertips brushing across my palm, like a feather scratching the tip of my heart.

My whole face felt numb and hot, and I quickly lowered my head.

Jiang Lin curled his lips casually, but his eyes were fixed on me with a look of pleasure.

Xiao Huai suddenly left the table with a sullen look on his face.

“Hey? What’s wrong with Xiaohuai?” My mother asked confused as she held the soup.

In the evening, Jiang Lin and I came back from a walk, and my mother said that Xiao Huai was waiting for me in the living room.

He stood up from the couch, looked at me and said, “Let’s go to your room and talk.”

I didn’t move. “Just say it here.”

Xiao Huai pursed his lips.

My mother tactfully called Jiang Lin and said, “Tell them to come to the kitchen and help me wash the grapes.”

Grapes.

Jiang Lin agreed gently. It was just him and I in the living room. Xiao Huai said, “Chen Qi is not my girlfriend.”

I nodded. “I know, you said that.”

“I haven’t had sex with her.” He frowned. “You just misunderstood.

Is this why you are mad at me?”

“I’m not angry with you.” Even I was surprised at my calmness. “I’m just

I realized that you would not choose me, whether Chen Qi was there or not.”

“It took me so long to face reality,” I whispered.

Over the years, you must have been very distressed. I never dared to tell you, fearing that you would refuse.

It’s Xiao Huai, don’t worry, it won’t happen again in the future.”

Xiao Huai’s face turned pale.

When I returned to my room at night, I found a hairpin in the drawer.

Black, very simple style.

On my seventeenth birthday, I saw Xiao Huai coming out of a jewelry store with a

A hairpin, lavender, inlaid with pearls.

The next day, the hairpin appeared on another girl’s head.

Just a while ago, I caught them kissing.

I haven’t worn a hairpin since.

The three-day holiday was about to end. Before returning, Chen Wu asked me if we could go out and talk, as he had something to say to me.

In the milk tea shop, he explained to Xiao Huai: “You may have misunderstood. The shop was too busy during that time, so I ate and lived at his house. When my sister was taking a shower, I should have been sleeping in his bedroom.”

“Nothing can happen to them while I’m here.”

“That night we had a celebratory drink. Maybe I drank too much and vomited on her. She was also drunk and didn’t notice it. She woke up in the daytime and couldn’t stand it anymore so she took a shower.”

“Xiao Huai likes you, otherwise he wouldn’t have not had a girlfriend for so many years.” Chen Wu said, “A man who likes a woman has a possessive desire. He doesn’t let you be a model, doesn’t let you wear those clothes, and doesn’t like other men looking at you.”

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“My sister also likes Xiao Huai, but I know very well that even if Xiao Huai is not with you, you will always be in his heart.” Chen Wu touched the cup, “I don’t want my sister to live in your shadow.”

I was silent for a long time.

“You said Xiao Huai likes me, but he never cares about my feelings.” I said, “Whether I am sad or heartbroken, he just waits for me to digest it silently, heal myself and stand in front of him again. But when a person is treated too badly in love, as long as others give me a little sweetness, I will be seduce away.”

“I know this is very spineless,” I said, “After experiencing gentleness, I don’t want to go back.” When I left the milk tea shop, I saw Xiao Huai.

He looked at me quietly, with no emotion on his face.

Xiao Huai has always been a rational and self-aware person.

He never tried to pursue anything, studies, career, resources, everything.

For him, everything came naturally and was within his reach.

I thought that after that day, Xiao Huai would no longer pay attention to me.

He has always been proud.

So when I received the call from Chen Wu that day, I was actually a little surprised. He said Xiao Huai came from South

After returning from the city, I was not in a good condition. I was sick for two days, not eating or drinking, and

I suddenly got up and tried to cook a bowl of seafood porridge by myself, but I was scalded by boiling water.

Hands, materials were scattered all over the floor.

Chen Wu said that Xiao Huai stood in the kitchen for a long time that night.

I know what Chen Wu meant. He wanted to tell me how much Xiao Huai cares about me.

Being cherished by a girl for ten years, even if you don’t like her enough, there is always something.

Some emotions.

He just had to adjust to life without me.

This incident didn’t stay on my mind for long, and I quickly turned my attention back to my own life.

Jiang Lin made me realize that I can be liked without trying hard to please others, and that when someone cares about you, he or she will be more afraid of letting you suffer any injustice than you are.

It turns out that all my forbearance and reluctance can be discovered so easily.

We were walking by the river that day. It was cloudy and the temperature was very low. The wind was strong and it made my hair messy. Jiang Lin had just recovered from a cold. I was afraid that he would be cold, so I let him go to the outside and took off my shawl to put it on him.

Jiang Lin held my hand, “Xiao Jin, you seem to be used to taking care of others.”

He put the cape back on me, and then let my hair down and straightened it up. “You are just a girl in her early twenties. You don’t need to do this in front of me, at least.”

A few good friends from college contacted me and wanted to get together. When I arrived, I saw Xiao Huai. In the noisy KTV, he was sitting alone in a corner drinking. He just raised his head when he heard me coming.

Given his personality, he would not be interested in attending such gatherings, and none of his particularly close friends were present.

The two female classmates didn’t know that I was dating someone yet, and they pushed me next to him, chatting and laughing. I was squeezed and accidentally sat on his lap. Xiao Huai supported my waist.

I quickly stood up and said that I already had a boyfriend and that he would come to pick me up later. Several people were stunned for a moment, and even the singing stopped.

Xiao Huai lowered his head, and his expression could not be seen clearly.

We didn’t communicate after that.

When it was almost over, I went to the bathroom and he was standing at the door of the box.

He held my hand as I was about to push the door open.

“How long will you be angry?” His voice was so soft that I couldn’t tell if he was

Drunk, “When are you moving back?”

I said nothing and broke free from his hand.

Later I found out that Chen Qi did not move in after I left, and Xiao Huai bought the house.

Came down.

When Jiang Lin came to pick me up, he saw Xiao Huai among the group of people and his expression obviously tensed up.

But he didn’t show anything, he calmly put his arm around my shoulders and accepted me with a smile.

The teasing and staring of two female classmates.

“Now I believe you really have a boyfriend.” My lower bunkmate whispered in my ear

Said, “Does Xiao Huai regret it?”

In the car, I weakly explained to Jiang Lin that I really didn’t know Xiao Huai was there, and no one was there.

tell me.

Jiang Lin said “hmm”. When we got home, I took his hand and repeated it again.

“Have you been drinking?” Jiang Lin asked.

I shook my head.

He took off his coat and bent down to kiss me.

Jiang Lin is usually a very gentle person, and I have almost never seen him angry.

But when kissing, she likes to bite people. The first time I was bitten unexpectedly, I couldn’t help it.

She hissed and opened her eyes to ask him why, but he attacked her fiercely without a word.

Momentum.

Later, I gradually discovered that he seemed to only be very happy or very angry.

It will be like this.

So which one is it?

Late at night, I received a call from Xiao Huai.

“Chen Qi said you like me and asked me if I ever thought about being with you. At that time, I just felt

“It feels awkward.” His voice was hoarse, “Since childhood, they have always said that you are my sister.

I’m used to this kind of relationship between us and I haven’t thought about changing it.”

“So now, you’re someone else’s girlfriend.”

…

Chen Wu later told me the cause of the accident. That day I told Xiao Huai that I would not continue to pester him and would try to date other boys.

together.

At that time, Xiao Huai’s reaction was cold and indifferent.

I was very sad and went to the bar with some friends.

After drinking, one of my male friends took me home.

I can drink quite a lot and I looked sober, but halfway to the parking lot I suddenly

Ran felt so wronged that she squatted on the ground and cried without caring about her image.

My friend was embarrassed and at a loss. Seeing me crying so hard, he hugged me out of sympathy.

one time.

Xiao Huai couldn’t get through to me, so he asked Jia Jia. Jia Jia was afraid that something might happen to me, so she gave the position to me.

he.

I just happened to see this scene.

Xiao Huai’s eyes were fixed, and he didn’t notice the turn ahead, and bumped into another

There was a parked car, and Chen Wu, who was sitting in the passenger seat, was also affected.

If I had known this earlier, perhaps I wouldn’t have been so discouraged.

But it was too late.