Unbreakable Memory

A man died at the station.

About half a year ago, I became interested in observing this type of death scene.

This is not some unspeakable quirk, nor does it involve any legal risks.

If I have to accuse someone of something, to be honest, I did not intervene in time before the tragedy happened.

Yes, except for the woman who jumped off the building half a year ago, I knew clearly what these people were going to do in the other few times.

But I chose to watch them in the dark.

1

Half a year ago, on the evening when I was walking home, I found a large group of people gathered downstairs of the apartment building.

Like ants sensing the coming of a rainstorm, the crowd all raised their heads and looked towards the sky.

I followed their gaze and saw only a bright red color, which almost merged with the setting sun.

The woman’s body drew an arc in the air, and with the crowd’s exclamations and a muffled sound, it hit the concrete floor heavily.

That day, as I stood in front of the crowd, I saw that life was a pool of bright and dazzling pink.

Like the color of the man lying on the railway tracks at this moment.

It was also from then on that I began to pay attention to the people on the road from my home to the train station.

Those who want to end their own lives even have their eyes out of focus.

I would secretly watch from the side, waiting for them to choose how to end their lives.

Unfortunately, most people lack the courage. They hesitate outside the yellow line of the station and shrink their necks in fear when they are scolded by the administrator.

As for the very few who do, apart from their out-of-focus eyes, their expressions are always indifferent. They will not stand in front of the yellow line at the beginning, but always wait until the last moment and then jump up like migrating gazelles across the river.

The difference is that compared to the crocodiles waiting in the river for an opportunity, they voluntarily dedicate their lives to the railroad tracks.

I never tried to stop them even though I knew they were going to commit suicide.

In order to see this scene today, I quit my job a long time ago, so why would I stop at the most exciting part of the script?

The staff who arrived set up a cordon and the crowd gradually dispersed. I lowered the brim of my hat and joined them.

Ten meters away from me, a man in a gray sportswear was also moving slowly with the crowd.

I followed him slowly and leisurely, thanks to the rush hour, the crowded crowd was a natural disguise.

Finally, at the bend of an alley, I quickly caught up with him, and just like I had rehearsed countless times in my dreams –

— put the dagger in her pocket against his waist.

“Got you, murderer,” I said.

2

The man cooperated very well, and I brought him to the rental house as planned. Everything went so smoothly that I doubted whether we had rehearsed it before.

I tied the man to a chair in the rental house.

“Today’s suicide has something to do with you.” I looked at the man, who kept his head down.

“Mad man, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The man shook his head, and his throat made a sound as rough as sandpaper.

“You were at the scene when the man who jumped into the river died three months ago.” I looked at him.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” The man asked back, “Are you a policeman? Is it illegal to like watching others commit suicide?”

“Half a year ago, the woman who jumped off the building in Nanjiao Garden Community…” I could feel my voice trembling, “You were there.”

The man raised his head as if realizing something.

“She is my wife.” My teeth were chattering and it felt like something was being pulled out of my body.

The man looked at me and suddenly smiled for the first time.

“My name is Lu Xiaojun.” He suddenly introduced himself, and then fell silent.

I put the dagger against his neck, trying to force him to speak.

“Stop it.” Lu Xiaojun suddenly laughed, “Do you think you can really kill me?”

“Look, your hands are shaking.” Lu Xiaojun showed a sarcastic expression.

3

My hands were indeed shaking, and although I tried my best to control them, he still saw through it.

Half a year ago, when I got home from get off work, I witnessed my wife Tang Min committing suicide downstairs. Since then, I have gone through the darkest days of my life.

In this painful memory, I can never forget the skinny man in the brown baseball cap on my left: when his wife jumped down, he did not scream like everyone else, but just glanced at the body on the ground calmly, nodded as if he had completed a task or as if he was thinking about something, and then left.

At that time, I was busy with my own business and just instinctively felt strange about the man’s abnormal behavior.

A month later, I went to Donghu Lake in the northern suburbs to relax and met a suicidal woman again. Although the woman finally gave up suicide after being persuaded by everyone, I found that familiar figure when the crowd dispersed.

I have a very strong episodic memory, and the scene of my wife’s suicide on the day she committed suicide was like the Grim Reaper carving a knife into my hippocampus.

And that time, facing the woman who was being dissuaded by everyone, the man gently shook his head amid the cheers.

My home is in the southern suburbs of the city, and Donghu is in the northern suburbs. What kind of coincidence could allow a person to appear twice at suicide scenes so far apart?

At that moment, an idea suddenly occurred to me, which I also thought was absurd:

“His wife’s suicide may have something to do with him.”

From that day on, I quit my job and spent all day wandering by the lake, the bridge and the railroad tracks, hoping to wait for the next person to commit suicide. Finally, three months later, I saw him again on a bridge across the river.

The man who had jumped into the river climbed to the top of the bridge.

Five meters away from me, Lu Xiaojun was wearing sunglasses and looking up at the man who was committing suicide with an expressionless face.

As if completing some ancient ritual, as the man jumped down, Lu Xiaojun once again nodded gently amid the screams of the crowd.

I looked at Lu Xiaojun who was so close to me, and my thoughts were confirmed, and the dizziness became stronger.

4

“My wife…the deaths of these people are all related to you.” I stabbed the dagger hard on the table.

“Interesting, you are her husband.” Lu Xiaojun said lightly, without any sarcasm in his tone.

He is indeed involved in these things!

I grabbed the dagger back in my hand and tried to suppress my anger:

“When my wife Tang Min jumped off the building half a year ago, you were in front of me.”

“Three months later, at 7pm on September 13th, when the man who jumped into the river fell, you were five meters in front of my left. Today you are ten meters behind my right.”

“There were two other suicide attempts, and you were also present at the scene.”

I looked at the man.

“Great! You have a really good memory.” His tone was neither hurried nor slow, without the slightest hint of nervousness.

“Why are you always there when someone commits suicide?” I asked. “What is the relationship between you and Tang Min?”

“It doesn’t matter. Or rather…” Lu Xiaojun suddenly looked at me with a playful look, “What kind of relationship do you want me to have with your wife?”

My rationality dropped to zero in an instant, and when I came to my senses, a bloody mark had been left on Lu Xiaojun’s chest by the dagger.

Lu Xiaojun took a breath and said, “Are you crazy? Is watching a suicide illegal?”

“You’d better not force me.” I calmed down. It was not my intention to kill him. I just wanted to know the truth of the matter.

“I didn’t force you. You think that I was the murderer who induced your wife to commit suicide every time I appeared at the suicide scene.” Lu Xiaojun didn’t care about the blood seeping through his sweatshirt. “But in the past six months, I was not the only one at the scene every time.”

“Who else?”

“You.” Lu Xiaojun said lightly.

“I don’t have time to talk nonsense with you.” I looked at Lu Xiaojun, “What is the relationship between you and these people who committed suicide?”

“What if I don’t tell you?” Lu Xiaojun looked at me provocatively. “If you kill me, can you get away?”

“Do you know why I didn’t do anything even though I clearly saw you on the bridge last time?” I looked at Lu Xiaojun calmly. I had been waiting for this moment for a long time.

Lu Xiaojun stared at me, and suddenly realized: “Camera?”

“The distance from the bridge to here is too far, and it only takes a few minutes to get here from the station.” I knew I had the initiative. “From the time I kidnapped you to here, there are no cameras.”

After listening to me, Lu Xiaojun just stared at me, as if he wanted to see through my heart.

About a minute later, he suddenly sighed: “Tang Min may still be alive.”

He said: “Those who committed suicide may still be alive.”

5

For a moment I doubted my ears, and then I was filled with uncontrollable anger.

“I told you not to joke with me!” I guess my expression has been completely distorted, “Or do you think I don’t dare to kill you?”

I watched Tang Min’s body being cremated, and I held her urn in my own hands when she was buried!

“I don’t want to joke with you.” Lu Xiaojun shook his head, “Do you understand ‘inertia’?”

“What inertia?”

“Forget it, why am I telling you this.” Lu Xiaojun lowered his eyes, “It’s not the right time yet.”

My mood is getting worse and worse.

“If Amin is not dead, where is she now?” I didn’t believe what Lu Xiaojun said, but my instinct made me curious about what he wanted to say.

“How would I know?” Lu Xiaojun said after a long silence.

“Do you think it’s fun?” My heart sank in an instant. I clenched the dagger tightly, no longer expecting to get any information from this person.

Just when I was overwhelmed by anger, a strange sound suddenly came from the corridor outside the door.

It felt like someone was scratching the glass with their fingernails, or like electromagnetic interference coming from an old radio… I suddenly had an indescribable feeling, as if I had drunk a bottle of white wine in one breath, and my head was dizzy.

“Here it comes!” Lu Xiaojun seemed to have heard the strange voice as well, and a look of fear appeared on his face.

“What’s coming?” I was disturbed by the voice and looked at Lu Xiaojun, only to find that his eyes were fixed on the door, as if someone would rush in at the next second.

Just as I was about to ask, there was a knock on the door.

No, not a knock on the door.

I quickly realized that it was more of a sound of air exploding than a knock on the door, because the sound was more like the air exploding in the empty corridor rather than hitting the door.

The explosions were rhythmic, bang, bang, bang, over and over again.

Although we couldn’t hear the footsteps outside the door, we could still feel from these sounds that something was approaching us.

Lu Xiaojun’s irritability became more and more obvious. This was very abnormal. How could a man who could remain calm when I pointed a knife at him actually feel scared?

I haven’t told anyone the address here, so it’s impossible for anyone to come looking for me. Could it be someone looking for Lu Xiaojun?

I looked at Lu Xiaojun, and he shook his head desperately to signal me not to make any sound.

Could it be that someone was following me when I brought him back? I was so nervous at the time that I didn’t care if anyone was following me.

I signaled Lu Xiaojun not to speak and walked towards the door.

Lu Xiaojun behind me became even more agitated: his eyes were wide open, as if their eyeballs were about to pop out of their sockets, and he shook his head desperately at me.

I ignored him, turned off the light in the room, and walked to the door with the dagger in hand.

It was already dark, there were no sensor lights in the corridor, and the peephole was completely dark.

6

I didn’t say anything. Now Lu Xiaojun was tied to a chair by me. No matter whether the person outside the door was coming for me or not, the trouble I would be in after opening the door would not be much less than Lu Xiaojun’s.

After a brief silence, the rhythmic explosions began again.

The explosions were getting louder and louder. The place I rented was an old, semi-abandoned neighborhood. Although there weren’t many people around, it was bound to attract attention.

I hurriedly hung the anti-theft chain on the door and turned off the lights in the room. It was very dark. I turned around and looked at Lu Xiaojun in the moonlight.

I found that Lu Xiaojun had untied the rope at some point and was standing at the window looking down.

I went over and grabbed him: “What are you doing?”

The sound from the door suddenly stopped, as if confirming what I had just said, and then the sound of the lock turning started again.

“It’s coming again.” Lu Xiaojun tried his best not to tremble.

“Who’s coming?” I could see that Lu Xiaojun was very scared, but at the same time I was also confused.

“Let’s go!” Lu Xiaojun seemed to have finally made up his mind. He looked at me and mouthed the words.

“Where are we going?” I asked Lu Xiaojun. This is the second floor, where else can we go?

“Perhaps you don’t need to get involved anymore.” Lu Xiaojun suddenly regained his composure. “Thank you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I couldn’t help but say as I glanced at the door.

The only response I got was Lu Xiaojun’s pitying look. Before I could react, he rolled over and jumped down. In the darkness, I could only hear the sound of his landing. My heart immediately sank, fearing that he would fall to his death and implicate me. Unexpectedly, after a while, Lu Xiaojun stood up in the darkness and ran away.

“Run! Chen Qi! Don’t look back!” Lu Xiaojun’s roar came from the darkness.

Lu Xiaojun knows my name! How does he know my name?

My brain felt like it was electrified and my body froze in place.

How did Lu Xiaojun know my name? I clearly never told him!

I was hesitating whether to call the police or not, and the door suddenly opened, but because of the door chain, it couldn’t get in for the time being.

“Run!” This was the only thought in my mind at that moment.

The second floor is actually not low. There is a risk of falling to death if I jump from a height of more than three meters, but my instinct makes me choose to move away from the door.

Just as I climbed out, I heard the sound of the security chain breaking and the door was completely opened.

I jumped from the second floor. All I could hear was the whistling sound of the wind. When I landed, it felt like someone suddenly hit the back of my head with a club. There was a buzzing sound, and then a sharp pain came from my ankle.

For a second I thought my leg was broken, but my brain adjusted itself in time.

I endured the pain and limped away. In my panic, I only saw a black thing near the window of my house.

7

I called a taxi and told the driver the opposite direction just in case. When I arrived at the destination and made sure no one was following me, I changed to another car to go home.

It was almost dawn when I got home. There was a thin layer of dust on the table. I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep for a long time in order to catch Lu Xiaojun. I didn’t expect that the last step would be ruined by that sudden voice.

I didn’t feel it when I was running for my life, but now the pain in my ankle is getting worse and worse and has become unbearable.

I took out safflower oil from the medicine box and found that my ankle was swollen as big as a fist. Fortunately, it was just a sprain and I would recover after a few days of rest.

My wife’s photo was placed next to the TV cabinet, and there was a thin layer of dust on it. I limped to the photo and wiped it carefully with my hand.

The photo was taken when we just met and went to the amusement park. Tang Min was sitting in the Ferris wheel, and I secretly took a picture of her profile.

Tang Min told me that her favorite ride in the amusement park is the Ferris wheel. The Ferris wheel rotates round and round, with ups and downs, highs and lows, just like life.

“Everything has its ups and downs, so why don’t you like bungee jumping or pirate ships?” I joked inappropriately at the time.

“Because,” she looked at me as the Ferris wheel had just risen to its highest point, with the afterglow of the setting sun shining on her without reservation, “only the Ferris wheel can slowly descend.”

I was deeply attracted by her looks, and we got married soon after that. Then, in a blink of an eye, five years had passed.

There is no way my wife would commit suicide!

This is the belief that has supported my investigation to this day, because in my opinion, she had no reason to commit suicide.

I suddenly thought of Lu Xiaojun. Finally, he called my name in the dark. Maybe he was anxious at the moment, or maybe he did it on purpose, but no matter what, he knew me.

But why did he act like he knew nothing about me in the beginning?

No, there is another possibility, he is not familiar with me, he just knows my name.

Come to think of it, his attitude changed since I told him that I was Tang Min’s husband.

Could it be that Lu Xiaojun and my wife really know each other?

I have no doubt about my wife’s loyalty in this marriage, but I have never heard her mention the name Lu Xiaojun. There must be something wrong!

I put all of Tang Min’s belongings into a big box.

I took out Tang Min’s phone and charged it. In order to prevent it from being cancelled, I would log into my wife’s social media account every now and then. I even checked the contents of the phone several times and found nothing suspicious.

I opened my address book and tried searching for a number beginning with “吕“ , but found nothing.

I didn’t give up and tried again on WeChat and QQ, but all I got were some worthless messages. It seemed that my wife didn’t know anyone with the surname Lu.

Just when I was about to give up, somehow, I suddenly remembered the few strange conversations I had with Lu Xiaojun.

With the attitude of giving it a try, I searched for the word “ inertia “ on WeChat .

After a brief reading, a chat record caught my attention under the index.

In the conversation, the wife said to a man with the online name “Li”:

“Inertia has begun.”

8

It’s “ inertia” again!

My breathing hitched for a moment and my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.

The chat history stopped in September of the previous year, which is more than two years ago.

After asking this question, the wife and “ Li” had a voice call that lasted ten minutes.

I looked through all the chat records. After this call, my wife and “ Li” had very little contact, only some sporadic holiday greetings.

The latest chat record stopped on New Year’s Day this year. “Li” sent a message of “Happy New Year”, but his wife did not reply.

Before that, the only thing I had was a message automatically sent by the system when I first added a friend: “I am Li from the Xingfuli Welfare Home in the group chat.”

I searched for the “Xingfuli Welfare Home” WeChat group on WeChat, only to find that the group had been disbanded.

“Xingfuli Welfare Home” is the name of the children’s welfare home where my wife used to work. I knew this from the beginning, and my wife did not hide her past from me.

“Li”‘s profile picture was a pure black picture. When I clicked on his profile picture, the account suddenly refreshed to the “deregistered” status.

In all likelihood, this “Li” is Lu Xiaojun.

Some of the clues were vaguely solved, but I was still not satisfied. My intuition told me that the answer to everything was contained in this ten-minute call.

But seeing how Lu Xiaojun ran away at the end, it would probably be difficult to find him afterwards.

There is nothing special about me, and looking for someone who is deliberately avoiding me is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Maybe there is another way – the “Xingfuli Welfare Home” should have the contact information of all the children.

The welfare home is on the edge of Y City, dozens of kilometers away from the city where I live. I called Fatty.

Fatty is my college brother, and now he is a real estate developer in Y City.

The person on the other end of the line was obviously unhappy that I was calling so late. I heard the woman’s sleepy, accusing voice from the other end of the line. I felt that I was being rude, so I had to apologize repeatedly.

The fat man listened to my request in a daze, and promised to help me ask early tomorrow morning. At the end he didn’t forget to say a few insults to me, so I had to smile and hung up the phone.

Maybe because I was too excited, I felt the pain of my sprained ankle was relieved a little. I took out the safflower oil and was about to apply it again when my cell phone suddenly rang.

I was startled and picked up the phone. I heard the fat man’s voice from the other end, saying that he was standing on the balcony smoking.

“Why are you asking about the ‘Xingfuli Welfare Home’?” The fat man’s voice seemed much more sober.

I hesitated for a moment and still didn’t tell him about Lu Xiaojun. I just said that I missed Tang Min and wanted to see her past.

“Why didn’t you tell me before that she came from this orphanage?” The fat man said in a strange tone.

“The welfare home was burned down by fire at the end of last year,” said the fat man.

9

The orphanage caught fire last winter.

Fatty sent me a photo from a Y City newspaper at the time, which showed that the fire occurred on December 31st, the day before New Year’s Day this year.

The newspaper reported that a fire of unknown cause burned down the welfare home. Fortunately, the director had taken a group of children out to attend a local New Year’s Eve party, and no one was injured in the entire welfare home except the janitor who was frightened.

The children’s welfare home could no longer be inhabited because of the fire, but fortunately the government found a new place for the children. The former “Xingfuli Welfare Home” became a dangerous building and has not been demolished yet for various reasons.

I didn’t know what kind of mood I was in. I thanked the fat man and hung up the phone.

If the chat records had not been deleted, one thing would be very strange: Why didn’t Tang Min and Li mention the fire in the welfare home in their chat records? This doesn’t make sense.

If Tang Min and Li were both children from the Xingfuli Orphanage, the orphanage was equivalent to their home before they became adults, and there is no reason why the fire last year would not have attracted their attention.

But as far as I can remember, my wife never told me about the fire. Judging from the existing chat records, “Li” also didn’t tell her about the fire. “Li” even sent her holiday greetings on New Year’s Day the next day.

It was as if there was some agreement between the two of them not to mention the fire to each other.

Maybe Li deleted his wife before the fire, so they have no contact anymore?

This is the most likely possibility and is also logical, but it still cannot explain the coded conversation.

What exactly is “inertia”?

Both Lu Xiaojun and his wife mentioned “inertia”. For me, the only thing I can associate with this word is the explanation given by my teacher in junior high school physics class.

“Inertia”: an inherent property of matter, a resistance phenomenon.

I inexplicably thought of that black mass again. Why was Lu Xiaojun afraid? Why would a man who was indifferent to knives and kidnapping be so scared?

The more I thought about it, the more confused my mind became. Gradually, as if I had stepped into a ball of paste, I lay down on the sofa and fell asleep.

I hadn’t slept well for half a year, so I didn’t sleep well. In a trance, I saw Tang Min again.

In the dream, Tang Min was standing on a tall building, and she was lip-reading something to me. I racked my brains to distinguish her lip movements, and suddenly realized that what she was talking about was “inertia”!

I then woke up with a start and looked at the clock. It was already ten o’clock in the morning.

All of a sudden, I lost all desire to sleep and reached for my phone to flip through it casually. Just as I was about to get up, a video forwarded in a group chat caught my attention.

The video is only a dozen seconds long, and it shows a man covered in blood and wearing a gray sportswear lying under the bridge. A friend said in the group that the man jumped off at around six o’clock this morning, and said that it was only for the group to watch and not to forward it randomly.

I stared at the phone blankly. In the video, Lu Xiaojun, lying on the ground, was lifeless.

I chatted privately with my friend and found out that the video was taken by a passerby on his way to work in the morning. The ambulance had already arrived and declared the man dead on the spot.

“What a pity. I don’t know what he went through to commit suicide by jumping off the bridge,” said a friend.

It was as if ten thousand bees suddenly filled my head, and the buzzing sound squeezed out my remaining ability to think.

Lu Xiaojun is dead.

I don’t know why, but I didn’t feel much surprise. I just didn’t expect Lu Xiaojun’s death to come so soon.

After sitting by the bed for a while, I called Fatty again and begged him to do me a favor. After threatening him with his status as a good friend, Fatty reluctantly said that he would try his best.

“Also,” I said, “I want to go to the Xingfuli Welfare Home.”

10

I saw the fat man again that afternoon.

He got out of the car in a jacket, sleepily looking. When he saw me, he punched me in the chest without saying a word: “You are so anxious. I am suffering from nervous breakdown because of you.”

“Get in the car first.” The fat man tapped the passenger seat with his chin.

I had no choice but to get in the car. The Land Rover sped along the way. The fat man seemed to be competing with me in patience and didn’t say a word the whole way.

“Is this the direction to the welfare home?” After driving for more than ten minutes, I finally couldn’t help but speak.

The fat man still didn’t say anything, and I didn’t want to ask any more questions because I was in the wrong.

The car drove all the way to the suburbs, and after several turns, we finally arrived at a KTV.

“What is this for?” I asked.

“Go in first.” The fat man parked the car and just waved his hand.

The fat guy seemed to be well prepared. There were both men and women. As soon as I walked into the KTV room, I was surrounded by more than a dozen people, who started drinking with me.

“We are all friends, let’s drink first.” The fat man spoke but did not drink. He just picked up the microphone and started singing to himself.

I was a little confused by this sudden attack. I didn’t know what the fat guy was thinking, so I had to deal with it and drink a few rounds.

The fat guy only sang and didn’t drink. Finally, around ten o’clock in the evening, I couldn’t bear it anymore and pulled him out of the box to the fire escape.

“What’s going on? Didn’t you agree to take me to the orphanage?” I asked.

The fat man turned his head away and said nothing.

“I got into your car only because you promised to help me. If you don’t want to, just say so earlier. I can go by myself!” I also got angry.

Seeing that I was really angry, the fat man finally spoke: “I have asked those people you asked me to check for you… What do you want to do?”

“There is indeed a problem.” My heart skipped a beat. I collected news reports on previous suicide cases in which Lu Xiaojun was present, and specifically asked Fatty to help me check the backgrounds of these deceased people.

“They are all orphans from the Xingfuli Welfare Home,” said the fat man.

My eyes went dark for a moment and the fat man quickly supported me.

“Blame me for not helping you,” the fat man snorted, “Chen Qi, ask yourself first if you are hiding something from me?”

I looked at the fat man, hesitating whether to tell him about this, because the weirdness of how things had developed to this point was beyond my comprehension, and I didn’t want to drag someone who had nothing to do with it into it, especially since the other person was my childhood friend.

“There must be something wrong, and I don’t think you can solve it by yourself.” The fat man stared at me and suddenly said in a firm tone, “Is it related to Tang Min’s death?”

I looked at his serious eyes. Fatty’s brain has been working much faster than that of ordinary people since he was a child. This little thing of mine must not have escaped his eyes, so I could only nod helplessly.

“So you went to the welfare home to investigate this matter?” the fat man asked.

“Yeah,” I said, “but I’m not going to let you…”

“Okay.” The fat man interrupted me and said simply, “Count me in.”

“We haven’t seen each other for more than half a year, right?” Before I could refuse, the fat man continued, “You are not right now.”

“Ever since Tang Min died, I’ve felt that you were acting weird. Now you’re suddenly investigating these people who came out of the welfare home.” The fat man said, “What on earth do you want to do?”

“I want to know the truth,” I said.

“What the hell is this? Tang Min is dead! He committed suicide!” The fat man suddenly got emotional. “If you can’t do it, just follow me and I’ll make sure you have enough food and drink!”

“Tang Min didn’t commit suicide!” I retorted.

“So many people watched her jump.” The fat man patted my shoulder, “I know this incident is a big blow to you, but people always have to look forward, right?”

“Half a year ago, on the day Amin jumped off the building, I met a man…” I sighed and told Fatty everything that happened after I met Lu Xiaojun.

“Is what you said true?” After hearing what I said, the fat man’s tone softened a little.

“This person is dead now.” I opened my phone and showed him Lu Xiaojun’s video.

“Is this guy also from that damn welfare home?” asked the fat man.

“It’s very likely,” I said.

“Is your foot okay?” the fat man said suddenly after watching the video several times.

“What?” I didn’t react for a moment.

“You said you sprained your ankle when you jumped from the second floor.” The fat man said, “It’s only been three days and it’s healed?”

When he said that, I suddenly remembered that I did sprain my foot and applied safflower oil, but the strange thing was that I didn’t feel any pain in my foot since the next day.

I pulled up my trouser legs to show Fatty that I hadn’t been in the mood to take a shower these past few days. The medicine I applied to my ankles was still there, but I really didn’t feel any discomfort at all.

“That’s strange. A sprain will take at least a week to heal.” The fat man stood up and said, “Let me watch that video again.”

He was talking about Lu Xiaojun’s video. I clicked it and handed the phone to him.

“Is this what he was wearing?” The fat man paused the video and asked me, pointing at Lu Xiaojun’s gray sportswear.

I nodded.

“Strange, how come there is nothing?” The fat man enlarged the picture, looked up and said to me in a puzzled tone, “Didn’t you cut him with a knife?”

11

When I heard the fat man say this, I suddenly realized the problem and snatched the phone away.

I was so angry that I cut a bloody mark on Lu Xiaojun’s chest with a dagger. Although the man in the video was bleeding all over the floor, his chest and clothes were intact.

Suddenly someone came out of the box and told the fat man to go back and drink, but the fat man waved his hand impatiently and told him to go back.

“What the hell.” The fat man muttered softly.

I looked at the fat man. He was already very restrained. If he didn’t know my feelings for Tang Min, he would most likely think I was joking with him.

“You don’t have to go with me. I can handle it by myself.” I said, looking at the hesitant fat man.

“Either you are kidding me, the person in this video is not the Lu Xiaojun you mentioned.” The fat man didn’t respond to my words, and said to himself, “Or I really saw a ghost.”

“Of course, I know the first situation doesn’t exist.” The fat man added, “So I won’t let you wade into this muddy water alone.”

“I’m just going to the welfare home to take a look, there won’t be any problem.” I declined.

“Who made me your buddy and best man?” The fat man sighed, “I went to the welfare home after it caught fire. Maybe it’s not as simple as we think…”

“And you’re drunk, how can you drive?” the fat man suddenly laughed.

I realized that I had been plotting against him from the very beginning.

It’s not that the fat guy doesn’t want to help me, he just blames me for hiding something from him.

Fatty and I left the KTV. The Xingfuli Welfare Home is located at the foot of a mountain in the suburbs. It is said that it was converted from the villa of the donor.

The car was speeding on the night road, the cool breeze kept pouring into the car, and the alcohol in my body began to take effect.

My head felt a little heavy, so I rolled up the window and leaned against it to count the headlights of passing cars.

“By the way.” The fat man said while driving, “Can you see if the things in the back seat are there?”

“I bought all of these in advance, just in case.” The fat man looked straight ahead.

“What is that?” I felt dizzy and stood up to pick up the black plastic bag on the back seat.

“Ghost money.” said the fat man.

My head buzzed and I sobered up instantly. The plastic bag on my leg opened, and it was full of red and green paper money.

The fat man saw that something was wrong with me and pulled the car over to the side of the road.

“Why are you buying ghost money?” I looked at him, “Didn’t they say that no one died in the fire?”

“I forgot to tell you, no one died at that time.” The fat man said faintly:

“But the fire cracked the concrete wall and a body fell out.”

12

My brain buzzed and I was stunned for a while before I subconsciously took out my phone to search.

“Don’t look for it, it’s just gossip.” The fat man interrupted me, “The body was examined and it turned out to be more than ten years old. There is no clue at all.”

“Have you investigated the dean?” I asked.

“Not only the dean, but also the masons and cooks from that time have been checked.” The fat man glanced at me, “It’s just that after so many years, the face of the corpse has rotted away, and we still don’t even know the identity.”

“What about the DNA test?” I asked.

“We’ve already screened the missing persons database. It’s not that easy.” The fat man sighed with his eyes closed. “Now the suicide victims you gave me all have backgrounds in this welfare home. It’s really weird.”

“Why didn’t you say so earlier?” I said.

“I forgot.” The fat man chuckled.

I could see that he was resentful of me for hiding the truth from him, so I didn’t say anything else.

After driving for another twenty minutes, the fat man drove the car into a forest not far from the welfare home. The night in the mountains was very cold. He threw me a coat from the trunk. I didn’t dare to turn on the flashlight outside, so I groped my way to the door of the welfare home.

The composition of the newspaper and the photo gave me a slight illusion, but when I actually got there I found that it was completely different from what I had imagined.

“This orphanage was originally built with donations from a priest during the war, so it looks neither Chinese nor Western.” The fat man looked like he knew everything. “It has been renovated several times, but overall it has not changed. It’s just a different name.”

There is only one building in the welfare home, which is four stories high but more than 30 meters wide. The burned building looked down at us in the darkness like a short and fat god.

I didn’t know where the door lock had gone. The fat man pushed open the door and took me across the children’s playground in the yard. We walked to the first floor in the dark and scattered yellow paper inside the building and burned it.

“There aren’t any homeless people living in there, right?” I said. If someone rushed out in the dark, we would probably be scared to death.

“Do you think we are in the city? Did you see the cordon when we first came in?” The fat man lit the paper without looking back. “This is a dangerous building that has been burned by fire. The villagers around here all know that this place is evil. It’s cold in the mountains at night, and here there is ventilation on all sides. Even living in a cave is warmer than this.”

“Let’s go.” The fat man stood there until all the paper money was burned before turning on the flashlight.

I nodded and turned on the flashlight. Although the building was wide, when I went inside I found that the distances between the rooms were frighteningly wide, and there were not many rooms in total.

“There are only four rooms on the first floor. The first floor is the cafeteria and medical room, the second floor is the rehabilitation training room, the third floor was originally a prayer room, but was later reused as an office, and the fourth floor is the children’s dormitory.” The fat man introduced, “The last room on the fourth floor is the data room. The old data has been temporarily kept here. Maybe there is what you are looking for.”

“Do you want to look at it floor by floor?” the fat man asked me, as if he wanted me to go directly to the reference room. “This building is dangerous. We should hurry up and look at it. It will also be your wish.”

I looked up and around. The fire started from the left, and the wall was obviously much more charred than the right half.

“Where was the body found?” I asked the fat man.

“The house on the far west of the first floor.” The fat man tried his best to avoid it. “It’s unlucky. There’s nothing to see.”

“Let’s look from left to right,” I said to the fat man, who sighed helplessly and followed me.

13

The room where the body was found was the last room on the first floor. The room numbers were arranged from right to left, but strangely, the room number on the fourth room was “5”.

“There is no room number 4 here.” The fat man explained, “The owner who donated to repair the welfare home is from Guangdong, and 4 is unlucky, so 5 was used instead.”

I nodded. It was unclear whether the door of Room 5 had been burned or demolished later, but it had disappeared, so we walked straight in.

The wall that had been burned by the fire was cracked from top to bottom, and the place where the body was found had been smashed open.

“After the body was found, we asked an expert to come and investigate.” The fat man said, “This is the only place in the entire building where the body is found. Moreover, the posture of the body is extremely unnatural, as if it was stuffed in there by someone.”

“Nonsense, how could it have gotten in by itself?” I found the fat man’s words incomprehensible.

“The experts’ conclusion,” the fat man said, “is that the body was bricked in alive.”

“Alive?” I stared blankly at the empty wall. The inky night sky that shone through the wall made me shudder.

“What happened next?” I asked the fat man, “Was there nothing on the body that could identify the body?”

“I don’t know what happened afterwards.” The fat man shook his head. “After the body was taken away, there was no news.”

“Anyway, this place is very spooky, which is why I don’t trust you to come here alone,” the fat man said, “Hurry up and take a look at this huge crack. If it collapses, we’ll both be dead here.”

I looked at the fat man, feeling touched. But at the same time, I felt a little disappointed, because these rooms were just as he said, except for the old documents on the fourth floor that no one wanted, there were almost no clues.

We searched all three floors one after another, but found nothing useful except tables, chairs and broken stones.

“I told you at the beginning to go directly to the information.” The fat man muttered.

“Don’t you think the architecture here is weird?” I looked at the fat man. “The houses are so spacious, why does each house only have one window?”

“I also thought it was weird before. You wouldn’t save materials to this extent.” The fat man scratched his head. “I don’t know the details, but I heard from my colleagues that it was for Feng Shui or something like that.”

To avoid being reminded of the number “5” also written on the stairs on the fourth floor, we went straight up.

As soon as I reached the stairs, I had an indescribable sense of déjà vu. The fat man was also stunned when he came up. When I saw his expression, I instantly knew that he had the same weird feeling as I did.

“There is only one window on this floor too.” I walked to the left side and saw a place that looked like a dormitory. The bunk beds in the dormitory were stacked up, with only a large window in the middle.

I couldn’t continue dragging him through each room, so we came to archive room No. 5. Fortunately, the fire didn’t burn them. When we pushed the door open, a stale, musty smell hit us in the face.

“They are all arranged by year. The files of the previous batch of children have not been moved. I remember they are in the innermost row of shelves.” The fat man said with a frown.

I thanked the fat man and in the end, he was leaning against the door, flipping through his phone boredly.

The archives can be traced back to the 1980s. I turned on the flashlight and saw that the dirt on the archive bags was as thick as my little finger.

I couldn’t tell how old Lu Xiaojun was, but judging from his appearance, he was no more than 35 years old. I flipped through the files. Since the welfare home was relatively small, there were not many files. I searched and saw two or three familiar names.

“Have you found it?” the fat man at the door asked me.

“I found files on what appear to be a few other people who committed suicide,” I said.

The fat man said, “This damn place always feels spooky every time I come here.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” I teased him, but I felt a little scared inside.

What’s strange is that even after searching through all the archives from the 1980s, I still couldn’t find Lu Xiaojun.

“Could it be that he is from the 90s?” I said to myself.

Suddenly the light dimmed and the flashlight was blocked by something.

14

I was really scared. I looked up suddenly and saw the fat man walking up to me and laughing.

“You’re sick.” I cursed.

“Aren’t you afraid?” the fat man laughed.

I could tell that he was trying to fight back against the teasing I had just said to him, so I didn’t respond and continued to look down.

“Here, it’s Tang Min’s.” The fat man made himself look boring. He searched for a long time and handed me Tang Min’s file as if to ask for credit.

“Is there any for Lu Xiaojun?” I asked after taking the file.

The fat man shook his head: “Actually, there is one thing I just can’t understand.”

“When you first told me that you wanted to come here, your purpose should be to find the contact information of that ‘Li’, that is, Lu Xiaojun, right?” said the fat man.

I nodded, “That’s exactly what I thought.”

“But didn’t you find out later that Lu Xiaojun was dead?” The fat man spoke quickly, as if he had been holding it in for a long time. “Is it necessary to come here? Why do you need the contact information of a dead person?”

“I did want to contact him at first,” I explained, “but not anymore.”

“Of course, how do you contact a dead person?” The fat man said, and suddenly he talked to himself, “Are you trying to confirm whether Lu Xiaojun came from the welfare home?”

“But if there is no file on Lu Xiaojun, it doesn’t mean anything.” The fat man said, “He could have stolen his own file in advance, just like we are doing now.”

“I don’t know either.” I said honestly, “but my intuition tells me that I must come here. It seems that only by coming here can all problems be solved.”

I looked through Tang Min’s file, which recorded in detail Tang Min’s life from childhood to the time he was sent out of the welfare home. I put the file in my pocket.

“Don’t take it if you’ve already looked at it. You might have to file it.” The fat man sighed and put the file back where it was. “Come on, I’ll have a drink with you when we get home.”

I didn’t give up and took out my cell phone. There was only a big cross in the signal column. I took a photo of Tang Min’s file without thinking too much and looked through the other files again. The fat man looked around bored.

“Chen Qi, there will be a moon tonight, right?” The fat man shone the flashlight on the window.

The only things on the window were circles of light cast by the flashlight on the glass, while the light that passed through the window seemed to be confiscated by the night and one could not see outside at all.

There was clearly a moon when I came in just now.

Fatty and I walked to the window and pushed it open. I had no idea where the moon had gone and the night was as dark as ink. The strange thing was that when I shone the flashlight, I couldn’t even illuminate the trees on the opposite hill.

The fat man also bravely followed me and stuck his head out of the window like me.

“It’s so dark.” said the fat man fiercely.

“That’s weird.” The fat man waved the flashlight, “I can clearly see the windows of the dormitory at the back, so why can’t I see the scenery in front?”

I looked in the direction of the fat man’s hand, and sure enough, the flashlight could shine all the way to the outermost part of the building, but the straight-line light couldn’t even reach a distance of one meter.

“Strange.” The fat man seemed not to hear what I said. He frowned and continued to sweep the flashlight back and forth.

“Let’s go.” I pulled the fat guy.

The fat man shuddered and turned around suddenly as if he was frightened, but his expression was extremely confused.

“The number of windows is wrong,” the fat man whispered.

I quickly stuck my head out to look, and the fat man was holding a flashlight for me.

“This building has one room and one window, right? There are four classrooms here, which means there are four windows.” The fat man said, “Count them, how come there are five windows now?”

I looked sideways and saw four windows in front of me. With the one where the fat man and I were, there was an extra window on the fourth floor.

The fat man used a flashlight to look up and down at the outer wall closest to us: “There are gaps where the outer walls of each house are connected. You can see them if you look carefully.”

After listening to the fat man’s words, I looked carefully and found that there was indeed a gap between our room and the room next door.

“It’s not just a new window.” The fat man seemed to realize something and turned to me and said slowly,

“There’s one more house.”

15

For some reason, the image of the corpse flashed through my mind, and the fat man and I looked at each other in surprise.

“What should we do?” the fat man hesitated.

“Are you sure there are only four rooms on this floor?” I said, and my heart was beating fast. There were indeed four rooms, so the fat man and I walked through them one by one.

“Could it be that we didn’t burn enough paper money?” the fat man asked me back

“Let’s go out and take a look first.” I said to the fat man. It’s not a good idea to stay here all the time. Besides, there are villages within a few kilometers around, so I’m not that scared.

The fat man also nodded, and we both bravely walked out of the archive room. There was still a number plate with “5” hanging above the archive room, which had not changed.

The corridor was pitch black. The fat man and I walked one after the other, holding onto the wall. It was deathly quiet all around us, and the only sound we could hear was our breathing.

The fat man and I walked to the next room, and when we looked up, we saw a sign with the number “4”.

The door of Room 4 was closed, and under the light of the flashlight, the numbers on the doorplate glowed white in the darkness.

“You said before that there is no room numbered 4 in this building, right?” I looked at the fat man.

“I’ve been in the underworld for so many years, and I’ve seen all kinds of monsters and demons.” The fat man said straightforwardly, “It’s inevitable that misfortune will come, and this one won’t be the worst.”

After saying that, the fat man opened the door and walked in. The dust blowing in my face made me cough continuously.

It looked like an ordinary room filled with dusty cabinets, like a replica of Room 5, even the layout of the shelves was similar.

The fat man swept the area with his flashlight but found nothing.

“I think I remembered it wrongly.” The fat man smiled with relief, “I scared myself.”

I also breathed a sigh of relief and walked to the window and looked out. The moon seemed to have been removed from the sky, and there was still endless darkness outside the window.

“Why didn’t we see this room when we came up just now?” The fat man came to my side.

“Maybe it’s too dark, or maybe I’m too nervous.” I said absentmindedly.

In fact, if you think about it carefully, you will know that things are not that simple, but at this moment I no longer have the energy to think about it.

“Let’s go.” I said to the fat man, and the latter nodded.

Just as we turned around and were about to leave, a strange sound suddenly came from the corridor.

16

I am very familiar with that sound, it is the sound of air exploding.

Bang, bang, bang…

It exploded again and again on the nerves of me and the fat man.

“I’ve heard this sound before.” The fat man and I leaned against the window, and the dizzy feeling came over us again.

“Is that the thing that forced Lu Xiaojun to jump off the building?” The fat man said and looked out the window, “Damn, it’s too high to jump.”

The sound was getting closer, my dizziness was getting stronger, and the fat guy was also feeling uncomfortable.

About two or three seconds later, the sound suddenly stopped very close to us.

The fat man shone the flashlight towards the door, and it was as black as ink outside.

“Just disappeared like that?” the fat man asked me, covering his head.

“On the contrary.” I turned to the fat man and said, “It’s right at the door.”

There was endless darkness outside the door, but above the darkness, there was a faint, thicker black fog.

“What the hell is this?” The fat man also noticed the black mist at the door and said in a trembling voice.

The black fog seemed to be waiting for us to discover it as it approached towards us against the light.

The closer the black fog got, the smaller the flashlight’s range became, until it stopped about thirty centimeters in front of us.

The fat guy and I had lost the ability to think, and we just instinctively pressed our backs against the wall.

“Chen Qi, is this what you and Lu Xiaojun saw?” said the fat man.

“I’m not sure,” I said to the fat man.

But when I think about the dark shadow I saw by the window downstairs at that time, it is somewhat similar to the black fog in front of me.

At that time, Lu Xiaojun was running away while telling me not to look back. Is it because I saw the black fog that I am being chased by it now?

The black fog in front of us was still motionless. Fatty and I didn’t know how the black fog worked, so we didn’t dare to act rashly. But standing here blindly was obviously not a smart choice.

The fat man and I looked at each other, and then we dispersed at the same time in tacit understanding, moving slowly to both sides.

But the black fog remained unmoved, as if it was observing us.

“Run!” the fat man suddenly said.

We both rushed towards the door at the same time, and the black fog behind us did not move.

The fat man and I ran all the way in the dark until we reached the stairs.

Just when I thought I was about to escape, my body seemed to be suddenly grabbed by something, which pulled the fat man and I, who were rushing forward, back to where we were.

The suction force behind us didn’t stop, as if it was trying to pull us back.

“Chen Qi.” The fat man called me and motioned me to look back.

17

I have never seen a black hole.

In fact, no one has ever actually seen a black hole. My understanding of black holes is limited to the low-resolution pictures in popular science magazines.

But at this moment, behind me, the center of the black fog was shining with a light that was almost milky white. As the light grew stronger, the gravitational force on the fat man and me was also increasing.

The fat man’s mouth was open and I was sure he was talking to me.

But the strange thing was that even though we were so close, we couldn’t hear each other.

“Go!” The fat man’s roar suddenly came into my ears like thunder.

He pulled my clothes and threw me downstairs.

I felt that I was briefly free from the constraints of gravity and black fog, but my head became heavier and heavier, and finally I lost consciousness.

It was like a sleep paralysis. In the haze, my eyes were covered by beams of light that kept changing colors. But in the farthest part of my sight, there was always a ray of white light, as dazzling as the white light in the center of the black fog.

It was like a dream. I heard voices around me in a daze, and the light gradually became clear in front of my eyes.

I still couldn’t open my eyes, but the light in front of me was getting stronger and stronger.

There was a bustling crowd around, and it seemed like they were discussing something; some were laughing and some were nervous.

“Let’s call the police first.” The person next to him whispered.

Suddenly the scorching light in front of my eyes disappeared, and I opened my eyes abruptly.

I was at the front of the crowd. This was not Room 4, nor was it an orphanage, but it was a place that I was very familiar with.

No one around me paid attention to my abnormality, and they all looked up at the distant sky.

I followed their gaze and saw the person standing on the top floor.

For a moment I doubted my eyes, or maybe my brain.

Like the crowd, I stared at the rooftop and felt like I was dreaming, because there stood a woman who could never have been there.

My wife——Tang Min.

18

Must be crazy.

Just as I hurriedly reached out my hand to ask Tang Min to stop, she had already jumped down from the top floor.

There was no way to stop this from happening. It was like God was replaying the nightmare of that day right before my eyes.

And I could only watch from the side.

By the time I reacted, Tang Min’s body had been cleaned up from the ground and the crowd had long since dispersed.

It was already the next day when I finished dealing with the follow-up work. During this period, I firmly believed that I was in a dream.

Even until I walked out of the funeral home, I was still in a daze.

By the way, how is the fat man?

I couldn’t wait to take out my cell phone, but the fat guy called me before me.

“Fatty, we…” I said impatiently.

“I heard about it. My condolences.” The fat man on the other end of the phone spoke first.

Something was wrong. A strong sense of unreality ran down my spine and instantly swept through my whole body.

I remember that after Tang Min died, Fatty was the first person to call me to comfort me.

“Are you okay?” I said to the person on the other end of the phone after hesitation.

“Me?” the person on the other end asked in confusion. “Are you okay?”

I hung up the phone and thought to myself, this must be a dream.

I picked up the broken glass on the side of the road and ruthlessly scratched my arm with it.

A large amount of blood flowed, and the pain began to take effect after ten seconds.

Now I have to accept a fact:

I went back to the past.

As for the reason, I can only think that it was all caused by the black fog.

At that time, the fat man chose to be swallowed by the black fog in order to save me, and I fell down the stairs and became unconscious.

And then I showed up here.

What about the fat guy? Where did he go?

Assuming that the black fog swallowed me later, shouldn’t the fat man also appear here?

But the fat man is gone, or rather, the fat man who would go to the welfare home with me in the future is gone.

What on earth is going on? My head hurts as if it’s going to split open.

So he squatted on the side of the road and cried, oblivious to the people around him.

19

I drank in the bar until twelve o’clock.

During this time, in the booth of the bar, I finally confirmed two things, assuming that all this was not a dream:

1: This is indeed the world a year ago.

2: No one believes that I came from another world.

I don’t know much about the theory of time travel, but if I act like I did before, there is an 80% chance that the timeline will return to here.

I will be trapped forever in this endless hell which lasts for one year.

Some changes must be made, like what Lu Xiaojun and others did.

By the way, Lu Xiaojun…

The brain paralyzed by alcohol suddenly became more sober.

Lu Xiaojun is here and he is not dead yet.

I just need to find him, then I can know the truth of what happened, and maybe I can go back.

Suddenly, a bunch of vomit rushed down my throat along my stomach.

I staggered out of the booth and headed towards the bar bathroom.

I was vomiting and thinking at the same time, and I was completely sober.

I clearly remember every time when Lu Xiaojun appeared. I have the advantage. As long as I wait patiently, the next time I catch him, I will know the truth.

Just as I raised my head after vomiting into the toilet with satisfaction.

There was another moment of confusion before my eyes.

20

The light of the setting sun shines gently on my face.

I looked at it in disbelief. I was in the bar bathroom just a second ago, but now I was on the Ferris wheel.

And Tang Min was sitting opposite me.

“What’s wrong with you?” the woman opposite said with a smile.

I was speechless. I looked at Tang Min and tried to speak several times but no sound came out.

“My favorite thing in the amusement park is the Ferris wheel.” Tang Min seemed not to notice my expression and spoke to himself.

“W-why?” I asked tremblingly, even though the answer was already engraved in my mind.

“Because you can see far.” Tang Min smiled.

“That’s not the case. Isn’t it because compared to other equipment, only the Ferris wheel can descend slowly?” Because I was too panicked, I guess my expression was distorted for a moment.

This wasn’t how I remembered it, so I subconsciously corrected her, like an actor who hears his partner misspoken a line.

“That seems like a good reason.” Tang Min tilted his head and looked at me, “It’s very romantic.”

“That’s not the case,” I muttered to myself.

“What’s wrong with you?” Tang Min handed over a tissue, “Your forehead is all sweaty.”

I took the tissue mechanically, not wanting to respond, and just sat there.

“Let’s go down,” she said, and I realized that the Ferris wheel ride had ended.

Tang Min pulled me off the Ferris wheel. The sun had already set. She said goodbye to me and went home.

Maybe I should give her a call and apologize for my lousy day, but I’m not in the mood.

I did nothing and went straight home.

Maybe everything is just a dream, and now, I am just jumping from one dream to another.

It’s no big deal, as long as I wake up, everything will be back to normal.

Thinking of this, I fell into a deep sleep.

When I opened my eyes again, I was already at my wedding with Tang Min.

Looking at the cheering crowd around me, I can no longer distinguish between dreams and reality.

How many times have I traveled through time since then?

Ten times? A hundred times? Or a thousand times.

I can’t remember clearly, I just know that my brain has become completely chaotic.

Sometimes I was at a college graduation ceremony, sometimes I was shopping with Tang Min, and sometimes I returned to my childhood and stared at the sky with my friends.

It sounds a bit weird to describe it this way, but the frequent and irregular time travel has made my brain begin to become demented, like a set of old gears, unwilling and unable to continue thinking.

Unable to comprehend what the black fog had done to me, I gradually gave up thinking.

Just like myself when I was a child and was helpless in a nightmare, I closed my eyes and hoped to be woken up by the birds singing outside the window in the next second.

Unfortunately, all this is like a fully wound clock, with no sign of stopping.

I kept passing through and being absorbed by the black fog, passing through and being absorbed by the black fog.

It’s just like hell.

twenty one

I was sitting on the sofa, and in front of me was Tang Min who was getting ready to go out.

“What’s wrong? Why are you standing there like an idiot?” Tang Minben was already standing at the door and walked towards me again. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in a while.”

She hugged me tenderly, but I couldn’t muster any energy. The black fog could activate its laws at any time, and my spirit would only stay in this space and time for a short time after all.

Everything becomes meaningless in the end.

I looked at Tang Min blankly. I had begun to understand her suicide. If she was experiencing such a nightmare in her consciousness like me, all the good things in her life would eventually become meaningless.

“Then I’m leaving.” Seeing that I didn’t respond, she smiled and turned to the door, “Happy New Year.”

I stood up from the sofa as if I was struck by lightning.

“Is today New Year’s Day?” I asked Tang Min.

“What’s wrong with you?” Her expression changed from puzzlement to flattery, “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in the evening.”

“Where are you going?” I asked her.

Tang Min was stunned, as if she had never thought that I would interfere with her privacy: “It’s a college reunion, you forgot.”

She is going to see Li! It is New Year’s Day! She is going to Xingfuli Welfare Home with Li!

I could feel my heart like it was going to beat out of my chest.

“Go ahead. I’ll wait for you.” He squeezed these words out from between his teeth almost stiffly.

Fortunately, she didn’t doubt it, smiled and left.

I was at home and saw the car downstairs start, so I rushed downstairs and hailed a taxi.

“Xingfuli Welfare Home,” I said to the driver, taking out a wad of banknotes and handing it to him. “Drive as fast as you can.”

twenty two

I am praying.

Praying that my consciousness can stay at this point in time a little longer.

At least let me see what Li looks like, or stop their arson.

If the orphanage had not been burned down, the bodies in the walls might not have been discovered, and Fatty and I would not have had to sneak there in the middle of the night, and everything I am suffering now could have been avoided.

This seemed like a good way to end this nightmare, and all I needed now was time.

I lowered my head and let the taxi overtake Tang Min’s car.

Perhaps because the taxi driver had collected money, he was very efficient and kept the speed on the verge of speeding.

Two hundred meters away from the welfare home, I saw a white car parked alone on the side of the road not far away.

No one would park their car on the roadside in this remote area at this time.

It was most likely “Li” who was waiting for Tang Min to arrive. In order not to alert the enemy, I asked the driver to turn off the lights and stop, then got out of the car and started running.

The dizziness is getting worse, which is a sign of crossing.

But it doesn’t matter, at least I can see Li’s face clearly before I travel through time.

As I got closer to the car, the ominous feeling in my heart became stronger and stronger, accompanied by dizziness.

When I was twenty meters away from the car, I recognized its appearance.

A white Land Rover.

A Land Rover exactly the same as the fat man’s.

The person in the car also felt my presence, he opened the door and got out.

About ten meters away from me, the fat man and I looked at each other.

“Chen Qi, you…” The fat man spoke first, as if he wanted to say something.

And I lost consciousness again.

twenty three

I stood in the dark and looked at the fat man. He turned his head and looked at me as if he had sensed something.

“What’s wrong?” Under the light of the flashlight, the fat man smiled with his lips but not his eyes.

It is hard to tell whether it was a deliberate arrangement by the black fog or a trick played by something called “fate”.

I actually ended up back in Room 4 of the orphanage where I started out.

Looking at the fat man in front of me, I didn’t know how to start talking for a moment.

“‘Leave.'” I said.

The fat man’s expression changed, but he recovered in an instant: “Leaving here? That’s great, you finally got it.”

After saying that, the fat man pulled me and was about to walk out.

Then there were loud explosions outside.

That was the sound when the black fog appeared.

“What’s that sound?” the fat man paused.

“Black Mist,” I said. “You know, Li.”

“What is black fog? What is Li?” The fat man was a little angry. “What are you talking about?”

I reached into his hip pocket and pulled out the crumpled paper.

The noise in the corridor outside was getting louder and louder, and the black fog was getting closer and closer.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were also from the welfare home in Xingfuli?” I unfolded the paper, which contained the fat man’s information. “You followed me just to steal this before me?”

The fat man stared at me and suddenly sighed.

“Did it happen to you, too? When?” he said. “When did you get involved?”

“Which time point?” The fat man covered his face and leaned against the wall. “You… from which time point did your consciousness start to travel through time?”

“Five minutes later, we’re here, swallowed by the black fog,” I said, “and you push me down the stairs.”

“I see… Sorry, I must have thought that would save you.” The fat man said, “How many times have you traveled through time?”

“I can’t remember,” I said.

The black fog has reached the door.

“It’s painful, isn’t it?” the fat man asked, “You are forever trapped in the cage called the past.”

“What is going on?” I asked Fatty as the black fog got closer and closer.

“Do you want to know?” The fat man looked at the black fog in front of him that was almost sticking to us, “Hold my hand.”

The black fog gradually spreads out in front of us.

It was like a dream. After an unknown amount of time, the beam of light disappeared and I slowly lowered my right hand that was blocking my eyes. It was still pitch black all around.

The fat man was right next to me, I could feel him but I couldn’t see him.

“Fatty?” I called him softly, but no one responded.

Just then, the lights came on.

twenty four

In front of me was a group of children sitting together. They were of different ages but looked pretty close. They seemed to be discussing something.

They continued talking to themselves, as if they didn’t see me.

“It’s your turn to go to the information room today,” said a boy.

“I don’t want to go,” said another boy.

“The dean will be angry. He has been waiting for you.”

“but……”

More and more children joined the discussion, and their childish voices were discussing whether or not to go to the library at night.

“Otherwise, I’ll go for you.” a girl suddenly said.

The replaced boy got excited.

“Tang Min, it’s not your turn today.” The boy who spoke for the first time rejected the little girl’s suggestion.

Tang Min… I looked at the girl in front of me. Is she the girl my wife was when she was a child?

“If only I could grow up quickly so I don’t have to go to the library anymore.” A little boy muttered.

“I found a book. Do you want to read it?” Suddenly, a little boy with yellow hair took out a black booklet from his clothes.

“Is this the magic in the cartoons?” someone said, “Lv Xiaojun, you are awesome.”

The kid named Lu Xiaojun became more and more proud: “There is a magic on it that can make people grow up immediately. Who wants to try it?”

“Will it be dangerous?” Tang Min asked.

“What they said is that consciousness cannot stop because of inertia.” Lu Xiaojun read the words on the book.

What is inertia?

“It sounds dangerous.”

“But when you become an adult, you no longer have to go to the library every now and then.” Lu Xiaojun retorted.

After hearing this, everyone raised their hands.

“Okay!” Lu Xiaojun nodded, “Then let’s get started.”

25

“You’re back.” The fat man looked at me in the darkness.

We were still standing in room four, with the black fog in front of us.

“Did you see it?” the fat man said, “Lü Xiaojun told me that if we get close to the black fog, we can spy on each other’s most profound memories.”

“But that’s all.” The fat man said as he looked at the black fog in front of him, “I still can’t escape the fate of being swallowed by it.”

“Why don’t you want to go to the archive?” I asked. “Is it worth it to make things like this just to avoid going there?”

The fat man smiled and said, “What do you think?”

“So your consciousness traveled from the state of a child to that of an adult.” I looked at the fat man.

“A million times?” The fat man tilted his head, “Even the most immature children become adults.”

“I have a way to break the impasse.” I said to the fat man.

“It’s impossible. The black fog will turn you into a consciousness, and then travel through all ages. Consciousness cannot be killed.” The fat man said in despair. “This is also the price you should pay for that ritual.”

“The black fog is the law of the universe,” said the fat man, “there is no way we can escape it.”

“What if I kill myself in all time periods?” I said to the fat man.

“What are you talking about?” The fat man laughed, “You are the same person who was bewitched by Lu Xiaojun. What’s the point of this?”

“You mean, Lu Xiaojun said the same thing?” I asked in surprise.

“Lü Xiaojun came to me a year ago and said that he had figured it out. This rule is called the ‘Platform Theory.'” the fat man pondered.

“Lü Xiaojun said that if we compare our consciousness to passengers and the body to the platform, the role of the black fog is just a bus that travels between the platforms.” The fat man seemed to be trying to recall, “Then he said…”

“If we keep the original body and wipe out all the bodies in the remaining time periods, then the bus, which is the black fog, can only send our consciousness back to the original station (body) and will never travel through time again.” I continued what he said.

“How do you know…” The fat man was stunned halfway through his words.

“So that’s how it is. That’s why you appear here, and that’s why the black fog has waited until now.” The fat man seemed to have figured something out.

“The black fog represents the universe, and all of this is a correction of the universe.”

After a long silence, the fat man suddenly spoke.

Then he walked into the black fog resolutely.

I froze in place, and then something like thunder exploded in my head.

“The black fog has its own rules of operation.”

The fat man’s words echoed in my mind for a long time.

The fat man entered the black fog. Where did he go? This may not be important anymore.

But I knew that before I met Lu Xiaojun next time, before I brought Lu Xiaojun the information about the “Platform Theory”.

He, or the memory named Fatty, will surely continue to reincarnate.

The black fog appeared before me, asking me to close the last hole in the circle of memory.

So that’s how it is.

The black fog slowly enveloped me as if it had finally waited for the right moment.

Before my consciousness faded, the image that came to my mind was the lonely corpse in the wall.

– over –