Is cheating really addictive?

I am a housewife. One night, my husband missed a call. I had a sixth sense that something was wrong, so I entered the number into my WeChat and searched for a beautiful woman. I unexpectedly found the phone number of the mistress. Using this phone, I found her Weibo and started to spy on her.

I am a housewife. My husband and I have a three-year-old boy. Because I gave birth to a boy, my mother-in-law is very kind to me and our life seems very harmonious and happy to outsiders.

We were in love for four years. Not long after I graduated from college and started working, I married my husband. Soon, I had our baby. My parents-in-law and he were very happy. They all felt that the family did not need the little money I earned, so I quit my job and stayed at home to take care of the baby.

My husband is three years older than me. He is a gentle and refined man. He is never arrogant or impatient towards others and things. He is very considerate to me. He always prepares gifts for big and small festivals and gives me small surprises from time to time. I think he is a romantic engineering man.

The delivery went smoothly and the baby is healthy.

My mother-in-law loves the child very much. When I was in confinement, she came to our house to take care of us and did everything herself. I am very grateful to her. Even though we have some different ideas in life, I understand her, so our relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very harmonious.

After my child was born, I didn’t go back to work. My parents-in-law and husband asked me to stay at home to accompany my child as he grew up. The child’s life cannot be without the company of his mother.

My children are growing up and I have become accustomed to my current life.

My daily job is to get up in the morning to prepare breakfast for my husband and children, prepare clothes and a briefcase for my husband, then send the children to kindergarten after lunch, and then go buy today’s ingredients. My husband does not eat at home at noon, as their company has an employee cafeteria, and in the evening, my husband will come back for dinner.

I study different recipes every day, hoping to provide them with adequate nutrition while satisfying their appetite.

This is probably how my life is, going on over and over again. At one point I felt that I was so happy and had such a happy family.

My husband’s career has made further progress thanks to his hard work, and I am very happy for him.

My husband told me, “Because I have you in my life, I can work without any worries.”

I feel this is the highest compliment I can receive for my efforts.

My husband has been very busy at work recently, and overtime and business trips have become the norm. I no longer cook dinner for him and just take care of the children and my own meals.

We haven’t had sex for a long time, because our child is still young and clingy, always insisting that I sleep with him. Also, my husband is busy with work, and after coming home from a hard day’s work at the company, he is exhausted, so he just washes up and falls asleep.

We trust each other, give each other enough privacy, and never look through each other’s phones. I don’t bother to do these things. I firmly feel that my husband loves me, our children, and this family.

Today my husband came home, took a shower and went to bed. He fell asleep very quickly and deeply. His cell phone kept ringing, but he didn’t respond at all.

The phone was still ringing. I was worried it was something important, so I picked it up to wake him up, but when I picked up the phone, it was hung up.

I am actually not a person who thinks a lot, and my husband protects me very well. My life is only about family every day. My biggest worry is what to cook tomorrow. The family’s financial expenses are all provided by my husband. I feel that he loves me very much and always pampers me like a little girl. So I have never thought about how popular my husband, a man under 30 years old with a successful career, gentle and handsome appearance, is with girls outside, and how many temptations he faces that touch the minefields of marriage.

So when the number rang, I naturally thought it was a work call.

The phone number is a string of numbers with no notes, and the incoming calls are local.

A woman’s sixth sense is an amazing thing, even though it rarely appears in my life.

I saved the number on my own phone and put my husband’s phone back on the bed.

I searched for this number on WeChat and actually found one.

Non-friends can only see ten Moments.

After swiping away, I feel like a lonely single girl.

There are many photos of her. She is pretty and cute, with a pair of lovely dimples.

There are many friends in the circle of friends, so not too many private things are actually revealed. The life presented by the little girl is that of a beautiful girl who lives actively and hard.

I saw a photo in a circle of friends, and there was a watermark in the lower right corner of the photo.

I opened Weibo and entered the text in the watermark I just saw into the search box, and related Weibo posts popped up.

In a Weibo post by someone else, the blogger @ed this watermarked Weibo. I clicked on it and found that the account no longer existed. Maybe the name had been changed.

I don’t know where I got such a strong desire for knowledge. I read every Weibo post of this blogger, read every comment, and opened the Weibo of every commenter.

Finally, after I don’t know how many hours it took, I found a familiar avatar, and those dimples were really iconic.

I started reading one by one.

—Z is a very good cook, he is a very virtuous man. Photo: a table of dishes.

The picture shows stir-fried pork intestines and stir-fried pork and green peppers.

Those are his two favorite dishes. I make them for him every now and then, and he and I always force the children to eat green peppers.

—Z gave me a big bouquet of roses and said that the most beautiful flowers should be given to the most beautiful people.

Caption: A bouquet of roses and a card that says, I wish my baby happy every day.

I looked up and saw the roses I had placed in the vase. Many of the petals had fallen off, but I couldn’t bear to throw them away.

It’s so boring. Even the gifts are the same.

—Z gave me a cat today, saying that when he is not around, I will let it accompany me so that I will not be lonely. This is our child.

Caption: Photo of a girl holding a cat.

He probably took the photo.

I am so happy. I have a child at home and another child outside.

—I don’t want a lot, I just want to see him every day and take a walk together like this every day.

Illustration: Holding hands and a man’s back.

After being together for so many years, looking at his back, I can be sure that this is my husband who lies beside me and tells me he loves me every day.

There are a lot of Weibo posts. They have been together for about two or three months, which coincides with the time when he became busy.

It turns out that we have been sleeping in the same bed but dreaming different dreams for so long. I was kept in the dark and was happily dreaming of a happy family and a harmonious relationship with my wife.

I sat on the couch in my living room and it’s hard for me to describe the feeling.

From the moment I saw the phone call to checking WeChat and Weibo, I was calm because I was eager to find the answer. Doubt was my main emotion. My entire brain was surrounded by the desire to find the answer, and there was no room for sadness.

And when I found her Weibo, I found the answer I was looking for. That tingling feeling stimulated my heart again and again. It was not an immediate severe pain, but spread and intensified little by little.

The emotion that prevailed was actually “unbelievable”.

What a good husband he was.

In the past two or three months, I didn’t notice anything. Even though the work suddenly became busy, with endless overtime and meetings, I didn’t suspect anything.

Every day when he comes home, he will hug me, kiss me, play with the children for a while, then go wash up, and then collapse on the bed exhausted and fall asleep in just a dozen seconds.

When I was looking at a brand’s new dress on the web page and was hesitant to place an order, he would say, “Buy it if you like it. I work hard to earn money just so that my wife can buy things without hesitation.”

When the child does something wrong and I scold him and he gets angry with me, I sit on the sofa sadly wiping my tears. I will teach him that he should not lose his temper with his mother. I take care of you and your father attentively every day. If you lose your temper with your mother, I will be sad. When I am sad, I will get angry and I will not want to buy you toys or tell you stories anymore.

He is especially filial to his parents on both sides. He takes his children to visit their grandparents when he is free and prepares outings for them every year.

He is such a thoughtful man. Fearing that I would be bored at home, he enrolled me in yoga and cooking classes so that I could have my own entertainment life.

When I thought about how I had such a good husband and it turned out that I was not the only one who had him, the sadness suddenly swept through like a tornado, stirring up all the negative energy in my body. It was so sad.

I don’t want to get divorced. I want this home, this warm family of three with my husband and my child.

The more I thought about it, the sadder I felt. Tears kept falling down my cheeks. The more I cried, the sadder I felt. It was a vicious cycle.

Sobbing echoed in the living room.

My husband probably got up to go to the bathroom and heard the noise. He came out of the room and saw me crying on the sofa with my knees hugged. He then took two steps forward and hugged me.

“What’s wrong? Why are you sitting here crying in the middle of the night?” His concerned eyes showed no trace of disguise.

“Honey, will we always be together? You, me, and the baby.” I hugged my knees and looked at him.

“Of course I will. What nonsense are you talking about? We are a family for life.”

He helped me to go to my room to sleep.

I just told him that I had a nightmare in which he didn’t want me and the child anymore, and didn’t want this family anymore.

He laughed at me and said that such a thing would never happen.

He held me in his arms and I snuggled into him.

There is no need to say too much, because there are still many things I need to do.

After sending my child to school, I was thinking, he cheated on me, it was an indisputable fact, do I want to leave him? Can I forgive him? The answer is no, even if I know he really cheated on me and betrayed our marriage, I still don’t want to leave him.

I knew the answer in my heart.

In marriage, when men cheat, many women choose to compromise and forgive. It is not like the comments under some emotional posts, which are so hard and fast that divorce is the only way to go. There are many things involved. Family, property, and feelings are not something that can be solved by people standing and talking, “Don’t divide it and keep it for the New Year.”

I was wondering what should I do, what should I do next?

Should she pretend to know nothing and maintain the warmth on the surface? Or should she expose them and let her husband leave that woman?

I have so many thoughts that I am overwhelmed and unable to concentrate on my work.

I picked up my phone again and looked at the girl’s Weibo.

I know it will hurt and be sad, but I still want to watch it.

I browsed Weibo and finally found the location of the community in a Weibo post. I thought if she hadn’t moved, she should still live here.

My husband called and said he had to work overtime in the evening and would be back late.

I took my child to visit my grandmother and lied that I had something to do. I told him to stay at her house and I would pick him up later.

I went to the neighborhood where I had located the location.

The community is very big and I don’t know where she lives.

I just stood under the big tree outside the community, my mind was in a mess and my thoughts were mixed, like a broken string.

I had a feeling that working overtime tonight was also an excuse, and he must have come to that girl’s place, so even though I stood there for a long time and didn’t see anything, I still stubbornly refused to leave.

Hard work pays off. After waiting for more than an hour, I saw a man and a woman carrying shopping bags walking towards me from a distance, and I quickly hid behind a tree.

It seems that he went shopping, as he had quite a few bags in his hands. The meal was very sumptuous.

I took out the camera I had prepared, adjusted the focus, and saved their intimacy in the camera with the clearest picture.

I went to that neighborhood almost every day, followed them, and took photos in various locations where they wouldn’t notice me.

The people in the photos are very happy. No matter what time or angle, their happiness that is about to overflow the screen cannot be lost.

This makes me feel even worse, because it is a replica of our past, which belonged to my husband and happiness.

After a few days of searching, I finally located her building.

My husband gives me unlimited living expenses, so I can buy whatever I want.

I bought a telescope, a mount conversion, and rented an apartment across the street from her building.

I placed and installed the telescope conversion connector I purchased according to the instructions of the photography masters in the forum. Facing the glass window that I was not used to having curtains drawn, I actually took pictures and saw a lot of things I wanted to see.

A voice in my heart told me that I wanted to know more, more details, the warmth in which they were cooking, the happiness in which they were snuggling together in the living room watching a movie, and the bodies intertwined in the bedroom. I wanted to see it all with my own eyes.

I had a morbid desire to spy on the dirty things they did behind my back. Watching my husband flirting and making love with other women in their dirty clothes gave me a masochistic pleasure. I wanted to watch, watch non-stop. Not only did I want to watch, I also wanted to save them. I pressed the shutter button, and the photos and videos filled up an entire memory card.

Do you know what the pleasure of self-torture is like? It’s that your heart aches, but you don’t want the pain to stop. Your nails dig into your thighs, and your breathing becomes difficult. Your eyes are still fixed on the camera screen, eager to see more and more.

Today when my husband came back it was already 12 o’clock, but I hadn’t slept yet. I was feeling so uncomfortable. Whenever I calmed down, the image of the two of them together came into my mind. Imagining them entangled together, I felt so sad that I couldn’t breathe and I tortured myself.

When he finished his shower and lay down on the bed, I groped my way over to him, hugged his body, and snuggled into his arms.

He was surprised. “What’s wrong? You haven’t slept yet?”

I didn’t answer and unbuttoned his pajamas. I wanted to possess him, more than I had ever wanted to possess him so much. Maybe it was because I was afraid. I was afraid that he would leave me and belong to someone else completely.

I tried very hard and I could feel that he was very surprised and very excited. We sweated a lot and he wanted to take a shower, but I refused and kept pestering him to hold him. He had no choice but to give up and let me hold him.

“Honey, how many years have we been together?” I said, leaning against his chest.

“It’s been seven years.”

“Do you feel happy now?”

“I’m so happy. I have you and my baby.” And I also have a lover. You are really a winner in life. You have everything other men want.

“Then why are you still not satisfied?” I asked suddenly.

He seemed not to understand.

I got up and took out a stack of photos and a camera from the bedside table.

Place gently on the quilt.

I considerately helped him turn on the camera and play the video. I could feel his body gradually stiffening.

We were silent and he was speechless.

What I mean is, it’s not what you think, but the video shows their affection so clearly.

Was he going to get angry and accuse me of following them? But that was not right, because he was the one who cheated.

“I’ll go take a shower.” After saying that, I went to the bathroom. The atmosphere of being alone was too depressing.

Actually, I haven’t figured out what to do next. I just want to come clean. I feel so miserable. I think if this continues, I’m really going to become a lunatic.

I came out of the shower and lay on the bed before he went into the bathroom.

“I’ll give you a week. I hope you can finish your work and return to your family. Otherwise, I really don’t know what I will do at my parents’ or your company.”

He paused, didn’t answer, and went in.

After that, life went on as usual, but we no longer communicated with each other and truly began to live in the same bed but different dreams.

I went to the apartment and used a telescope to see how they quarreled, how the girl cried and tried to keep him, and how my husband struggled internally and wanted to leave.

When I saw them quarreling and the girl begging him with tears in her eyes, my heart was jumping with joy. I don’t want them to be happy. I would rather they separate more quickly and let them both suffer more.

Or maybe he was soft-hearted, that beautiful girl with tears in her eyes. I watched him turn around and hug her as she knelt on the ground and cried. They kissed, they hugged, and they cried together.

Finally, he finished comforting the girl, helped her to bed, kissed her forehead, and then walked out the door.

I wanted to install another bug in their room. I wanted to hear what they were saying. I wanted to hear them swearing at each other in the most vulgar language.

But even without any eavesdropping equipment, as a woman I know clearly that they are inseparable and today’s breakup drama has failed.

I returned home disappointed, packed up my and my child’s things, and left the place cruelly. I was gambling, gambling on his love for the child.

Left a note: The kids and I won’t be back until this is dealt with.

We moved into that apartment and life continued as usual. After sending the children to school, I stood on the windowsill and watched the girl’s life through a telescope.

I could feel that she was desperate.

After she received a phone call, she cried and made a fuss, smashing everything on the floor in the living room, then squatted on the ground crying. I felt really relieved and relieved. I didn’t sympathize with her at all. It was her fault that she invaded my husband and destroyed my home.

They are still in contact, and I know it’s not easy to break up completely, so I’m not in a hurry.

My husband sent me a WeChat message asking me to go home because the child’s grandmother missed him.

That’s why I took him, not only because I love my child, but also because he was my bet.

Parents are the husband’s weak spot, and children are the parents-in-law’s weak spot.

—I still say the same thing, I will bring the children back after everything is settled.

—We have separated.

—Really? Don’t lie to me. I know everything you do.

I heard a deep sigh from the other end of the phone and then I hung up.

I can’t be soft-hearted, I keep reminding myself every day, because being soft-hearted would mean giving my home to others.

After sending my child to school, I returned to my apartment and stood by the window again, looking at the person on the other end of the telescope. Many people came to the house and kept moving things out. In a few hours, most of the things in the house were moved away, and the girl closed the door and left the house.

Soon I received a call from my husband asking me to go home.

I know they are really separated.

The husband said the girl left the city.

Life was going on steadily. My husband came home from get off work on time every day and rarely had to work overtime. When he got home, he would play and laugh with the children, acting as a kind father.

We communicated much less, except for the necessary communication in life. He began to avoid me. At night, he also stayed far away from me before going to bed. I wanted to be close to him and I wanted the life of a married couple, but he always used excuses like he was physically tired to refuse me. We completely lived a sexless life.

So what? At least I have him now and I am still the mistress of this house.

One night, my husband’s cell phone was charging in the room, he was playing games with the children in the living room, and I was sorting clothes in the room. I heard the phone ringing and wanted to give it to my husband. My peripheral vision caught a glimpse of a string of unfamiliar numbers on the screen. Suddenly, a voice in my heart was shouting and roaring. I took out my cell phone and wrote down the number.

I took a look at the camera and telescope that I had placed in the storage room, then smiled, and couldn’t help but open WeChat to search again.

Another beautiful girl.